Explore Chapter 3 of 'Camel Xiangzi' with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
Xiangzi had run twenty or thirty paces, but he was unwilling to go further. He couldn't bear to leave the camels behind. In this world, all he owned now was his own life. Even a hemp rope on the ground, he would gladly pick it up. Even if it was useless, it could comfort him a little. At least he would have something in his hands, not entirely empty. Escaping with his life was crucial, but what use was a bare life? He had to take these animals with him. Although he hadn't yet thought of what use the camels could be, they still counted as possessions, and not small ones at that.
He pulled the camels up. He didn't know much about how to handle camels, but he wasn't afraid of them. Coming from the countryside, he dared to approach animals. The camels rose very slowly. He didn't bother to check carefully if they were all tethered together. Feeling he could lead them away, he started walking, whether he had pulled up one or all of them.
As soon as he took a step, he regretted it. The camels--accustomed to bearing burdens inland--could not walk fast. Not only did they have to walk slowly, but they also needed to proceed with extreme caution. Camels are afraid of slipping. A puddle of water or a patch of mud could make them split their legs or twist their knees. The value of a camel lies entirely in its four legs. Once the legs are gone, all is lost! And Xiangzi was trying to escape with his life!
Accustomed to pulling a rickshaw, Xiangzi had a good sense of direction. Yet now his mind was in turmoil. When he found the camels, his heart seemed entirely focused on them. But once he led them away, he lost his bearings. The sky was so dark, and his heart so anxious. Even if he knew how to read the stars and adjust his direction, he dared not do so calmly. The stars--in his eyes--seemed more anxious than he was, bumping into each other and moving chaotically in the dark sky. Xiangzi dared not look up again. He lowered his head, walking with hurried steps but not daring to go too fast. He remembered this: since he was leading camels, he had to follow the main road, no longer skirting the hillside. From Moshikou--if this was Moshikou--to Huangcun, it was a straight path. This was the main road for camels, and it didn't detour at all. Avoiding detours held great value for a rickshaw puller. However, this road offered no cover! What if he encountered soldiers again? Even if he didn't meet any troops, his tattered military uniform, the mud on his face, and his long hair--could they make people believe he was a camel driver? No, he didn't look like a camel driver at all! He looked more like a deserter! If caught by officials, being a deserter was a minor matter. But if caught by villagers, he would at least be buried alive! Thinking of this, he shuddered. The soft thud of camel hooves behind him suddenly startled him. To escape with his life, he should abandon these burdens. But in the end, he couldn't let go of the rope on the camel's nose. Walk, just walk, wherever he ended up, whatever he encountered. If he lived, he would gain some animals. If he died, he would accept fate!
But he took off his military uniform. With a tug, he ripped off the collar. The brass buttons that still held responsibility were also torn off and thrown into the darkness without a sound. Then, he draped this collarless, buttonless single garment over his body, tying the two sleeves into a knot on his chest, like carrying a bundle. This, he thought, might reduce the suspicion of being a defeated soldier. He also rolled up his trousers a bit. He knew this didn't quite make him look like a camel driver, but at least he didn't completely resemble a deserter anymore. With the mud on his face and the sweat on his body, he probably looked enough like a coal porter. His thoughts were slow, but thorough, and he acted on them immediately. In the dark night, no one could see him. He didn't need to do this right away, but he couldn't wait. He didn't know the time; dawn might break suddenly. Since he wasn't following the mountain path, he had no chance to hide during the day. To travel by day, he had to make people believe he was a coal porter. Having thought of this, he did it at once. He felt somewhat relieved, as if the danger had passed and Beiping was right before him. He had to reach the city steadily and quickly, because he had no money, no dry food, and couldn't afford to waste more time. Thinking of this, he wanted to ride the camel to save energy and endure hunger a little longer. But he dared not mount. Even if it was stable, he would have to make the camel kneel first, and he could get on. Time was precious; he couldn't afford the trouble. Moreover, if he got up that high, it would be harder to see the ground. If the camel fell, he would fall with it. No, he would just walk like this.
He roughly sensed he was following the main road. The direction and location were somewhat vague. The night was deep, and the fatigue of days, along with the fear of escape, made him uncomfortable in body and mind. After walking some distance, his steps even and slow, he gradually felt drowsy. The night was still dark, with some damp, cold mist in the air, making his heart feel even more uncertain. He strained to look at the ground, which seemed to have ridges and bumps, but when he set his foot down, it was flat. This caution and deception made him more restless, almost irritable. He simply stopped caring about the ground, looking straight ahead and shuffling his feet along. Nothing could be seen in all directions, as if all the darkness in the world was waiting for him. He stepped from darkness into darkness, followed by the silent camels.
Gradually, he grew accustomed to the outer darkness. His mind seemed to stop its activity, and his eyes involuntarily closed. He didn't know if he was still moving forward or had already stopped. His heart felt only waves of fluctuation, like a surging black sea. Darkness and his heart merged into one, both vague, both rising and falling, both indistinct. Suddenly, his heart stirred, as if remembering something or hearing some sound--unclear. But he opened his eyes again. He was indeed still moving forward, forgetting what he had just thought of. There was no movement around him. His heart raced for a while, then gradually calmed down. He reminded himself not to close his eyes again or let his thoughts wander. Reaching the city quickly was the most important thing. But if his mind didn't think of anything, his eyes easily closed again. He had to keep thinking of something, had to stay awake. He knew that once he fell, he could sleep for three days straight. What to think about? His head felt dizzy, his body damp and uncomfortable, his scalp itchy, his feet sore, and his mouth dry and bitter. He couldn't think of anything else, only pitied himself. But even his own affairs couldn't be thought of in detail. His head was so empty and swollen, as if he had just remembered himself, then forgotten himself again, like a candle about to go out, unable to illuminate even itself. Added to the surrounding darkness, he felt as if floating in a mass of black air. Although he knew he still existed and was still moving forward, there was nothing else to prove exactly where he was going, much like floating alone in a desolate sea, unable to believe in himself. He had never experienced such anxious discomfort and absolute loneliness. Usually, he didn't much like making friends, but alone under the sunlight, with the sun shining on his limbs and various things present before him, he wasn't afraid. Now, he still wasn't afraid, but the uncertainty of everything was unbearable. If the camels were as unruly as mules or horses, they might have made him alert and attentive to them. But the camels were so tame, so tame that it made him impatient. In his most distracted state, he suddenly doubted if the camels were still behind him, startling him. He seemed to believe these large animals might quietly slip into a dark side road without him knowing, like holding a piece of ice that gradually melts away.
He didn't know when he sat down. If he died just like this, even if there were an afterlife, he wouldn't remember how he sat down or why. He sat for five minutes, or maybe an hour--he didn't know. He also didn't know if he sat down first and then fell asleep, or fell asleep first and then sat down. Probably he fell asleep first and then sat down, because his fatigue could have made him fall asleep standing.
He suddenly woke up. Not the natural awakening from sleep, but a sharp start, as if jumping from one world to another in the blink of an eye. What he saw was still darkness, but he clearly heard a rooster crow, so clear it felt like something hard scratched his brain. He was fully awake. The camels? He couldn't bother with other thoughts. The rope was still in his hand, and the camels were still beside him. His heart calmed. He was too lazy to get up. His body felt sore and sluggish; he didn't want to rise, but he dared not sleep again. He had to think, think carefully, for a good plan. It was at this moment that he thought of his rickshaw and cried out, "On what grounds?"
"On what grounds?" But shouting was useless. He went to feel the camels. He still didn't know how many he had led. After checking, there were three in total. He didn't feel it was too many or too few. He focused his thoughts on these three animals. Although he hadn't yet decided what to do, he vaguely felt that his future depended entirely on these three beasts.
Why not sell them and buy a rickshaw? He almost jumped up! But he didn't move, as if ashamed for not having thought of this most natural and simplest solution earlier. Joy overcame shame, and he made up his mind. Hadn't he just heard a rooster crow? Even if roosters sometimes crow at one or two in the morning, dawn couldn't be far off. Where there's a rooster crow, there must be a village. Perhaps it was Beixinan? There were people who raised camels there. He had to hurry, reach it by dawn, sell the camels, and buy a rickshaw as soon as he entered the city. During these chaotic times of war, rickshaws must be cheaper. He was so absorbed in thinking about buying a rickshaw that selling the camels seemed utterly effortless.
Thinking of the connection between camels and rickshaws, his spirits lifted. His body seemed to have no discomfort anywhere. If he thought of using these three camels to buy a hundred acres of land or exchange for some pearls, he wouldn't have been so happy. He stood up quickly and pulled the camels along. He didn't know the current market price for camels, only heard that in the old days, before trains, a single camel was worth a large ingot, because camels were strong and ate less than mules or horses. He didn't hope for three large ingots, just wished to exchange them for eighty or a hundred, enough to buy a rickshaw.
The further he walked, the brighter it became. Yes, the light was ahead; he was indeed heading east. Even if he took the wrong road, the direction wasn't off. The mountains were to the west, the city to the east--he knew that. The uniform blackness around gradually differentiated into shades. Though colors couldn't be distinguished yet, fields and distant trees took shape in the general gray haze. The stars grew sparse, and the sky was covered with a gray mist, dim but much higher than before. Xiangzi seemed to dare raise his head. He also began to smell the grass by the road and hear a few bird calls. Seeing vague forms, his senses seemed to restore their proper functions. He could see everything on himself, though so ragged and bedraggled, he could believe he was still alive. It felt like waking from a nightmare, realizing how precious life was. After looking at himself, he glanced back at the camels--as ugly as he was, and just as endearing. It was the season when animals shed their fur. The camels' bodies already showed that gray-red skin, with only scattered, weak, loose tufts of hair hanging here and there, like gigantic beggars among beasts. Most pitiful were those long, hairless necks, so long, so bald, curved, clumsy, stretching far out, like disappointed, thin dragons. But Xiangzi didn't despise them. No matter how unsightly they were, they were living things. He considered himself the luckiest person in the world. Heaven had sent him three living treasures, enough to trade for a rickshaw. This wasn't something encountered every day. He couldn't help but laugh.
The gray sky revealed some red, making the ground and distant trees appear darker. The red gradually blended with the gray, becoming grayish-purple in some places, particularly red in others, with most of the sky the color of grape gray. After a while, the red gave way to bright gold, and various colors gleamed with light. Suddenly, everything became very clear. Then, the eastern morning clouds turned deep red, and the sky above showed blue. The red clouds scattered, and golden rays shot out--horizontal were the clouds, vertical the light, weaving a vast, glorious spider web in the southeast corner of the sky. The green fields, trees, and wild grass changed from dark green to glowing jade. Old pine trunks were dyed golden-red, birds' wings flashed with golden light, and everything seemed to smile. Xiangzi wanted to shout towards that expanse of red light. Since being dragged away by the soldiers, he seemed not to have seen the sun, always cursing in his heart, head bowed, forgetting there were sun and moon, forgetting heaven. Now, walking freely, the further he went, the brighter it became. The sun gave the dew on the grass a bit of golden light, also illuminating Xiangzi's brows and hair, warming his heart. He forgot all hardship, all danger, all pain. No matter how ragged and dirty he was, the sun's light and heat did not exclude him. He lived in a universe with light and heat. He was happy; he wanted to cheer!
Looking at his tattered clothes, then at the three shedding camels behind him, he smiled. With such unsightly man and animals, he thought, they had actually escaped danger and were walking towards the sun again. How strange! There was no need to think about rights and wrongs anymore. Everything was heaven's will, he believed. He felt at ease, walking slowly. As long as heaven protected him, there was nothing to fear. Where had he reached? He didn't want to ask, though men and women were already working in the fields. Walk on. Even if he couldn't sell the camels immediately, it didn't seem to matter much. First, get to the city. He longed to see the city again. Although he had no parents, relatives, or any property there, it was still his home. The entire city was his home. Once there, he would find a way. In the distance was a village, a sizable one. The willow trees outside the village stood like a row of tall, green guards, looking down at the low houses with cooking smoke floating above. From afar, he heard the barking of village dogs, very pleasant. He headed straight for the village, not expecting any lucky encounter, as if just to show he feared nothing. He was a good person, of course not afraid of the village's good folk. Now, everyone was under the bright and peaceful sunlight.