Explore Chapter 2 of 'Spring Wind Intoxicated Evening' with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
He found the textbooks at school as tasteless as chewing wax, utterly devoid of any vitality. On clear days, he would often take a beloved literary book and run to secluded mountainsides or watersides, indulging in the profound taste of solitude. In moments of utter silence, where sky and water mirrored each other, he would gaze at the plants, insects, and fish, at the white clouds and azure heavens, and feel himself a solitary sage aloof from the world, a recluse standing apart. Sometimes, encountering a farmer in the mountains, he would imagine himself as Zarathustra, silently reciting Zarathustra's words to the farmer in his heart. His megalomania grew in direct proportion to his hypochondria, increasing day by day. At such times, it was no wonder he was unwilling to go to school and perform those mechanical tasks. There were even stretches of four or five days when he skipped lectures altogether.
During class, though he sat among all the students, he felt profoundly lonely. This loneliness felt in a crowd was even more unbearable than the solitude in a quiet place. Looking at his classmates, each was listening to the teacher's lecture with great enthusiasm. He alone, though physically present in the classroom, let his mind wander like fleeting clouds and vanishing lightning, lost in boundless reverie.
At last, the bell for the end of class rang. After the teacher left, his classmates chatted and laughed, each as joyful as spring swallows and sparrows, enjoying themselves. Only he remained with a furrowed brow, his tongue as if weighed down by a thousand-pound rock, utterly silent. He longed for his classmates to speak to him, but they all went about their own pursuits of happiness. At the sight of his sorrowful expression, none dared approach, instead scattering in fear. This made him resent them even more.
When his Japanese classmates laughed, he always suspected they were laughing at him, and his face would instantly flush red. When they chatted, if someone accidentally glanced at him, he would suddenly blush, thinking they were talking about him. The distance between him and his classmates grew day by day. His classmates thought he loved solitude, so no one dared approach him.
One day after school, he carried his bookbag back to his inn, accompanied by three Japanese students. Just as they were approaching his lodging, two female students in red skirts suddenly appeared ahead. In this suburban area, female students were rarely seen, so at the sight of these two girls, his breath tightened. As the four of them passed by the two girls, his three Japanese classmates asked them:
The three Japanese students laughed heartily, as if very pleased. Only he, as if he had been the one to speak to them, hurried back to the inn. Entering his own room, he threw his bookbag forcefully onto the tatami and lay down. In Japan, rooms are floored with tatami, so one sits and sleeps on the mats. His heart was still pounding wildly. With one hand pillowing his head and the other pressing his chest, he began to mock and curse himself:
In those eyes, there was indeed a hint of pleasant surprise. But after thinking more carefully, he suddenly exclaimed:
"Fool, fool! Though they had interest, what does it have to do with you? The amorous glances they cast were meant solely for those three Japanese men, weren't they? Alas, alas! They already know, they already know I am Chinese. Otherwise, why didn't they glance at me? Revenge, revenge, I must take revenge on them."
"Why did I bother coming to Japan? Why did I seek knowledge? Since I am in Japan, it's inevitable that I am despised by the Japanese. China, oh China! Why don't you become prosperous and strong? I can no longer endure this."
"Does my homeland not have beautiful mountains and rivers? Does my homeland not have fair maidens like flowers? Why did I bother coming to this island nation in the East Sea!"
"Coming to Japan might be tolerable, but why did I have to enter this damned higher school? Those who studied abroad for five months and returned, aren't they enjoying glory and comfort? How can I endure these five or six years? After suffering countless hardships and accumulating over a decade of knowledge, when I return to China, can I really be better than those frivolous international students?"
"A human life spans a hundred years, and youth lasts only seven or eight years. These purest, most beautiful seven or eight years, I have to waste away in this heartless island nation. Alas, I am already twenty-one this year."
"I want neither knowledge nor fame. All I want is a \"heart\" that comforts and understands me. A heart burning with passion! The sympathy born from such a heart! And love born from sympathy!"
"If there were a woman, whether beautiful or plain, who could love me sincerely, I would be willing to die for her."
"Heaven, oh Heaven, I do not want knowledge, I do not want fame, nor do I want useless money. If you could bestow upon me an 'Eve' from the Garden of Eden, whose body and soul are entirely mine, I would be perfectly content."