第十章 我见犹怜孤灯照断雁 谁能遣此深夜送飘茵 (Chapter Ten: I See Her and Pity Her: A Lone Lamp Shines on a Severed Goose; Who Can Dispatch the Deep Night to Carry a Fallen Leaf?)

Now, ever since meeting Li Yun, Yang Xingyuan's spirits had undergone a great change. Each day, after finishing his duties at the newspaper office, he would invariably go to the Pine and Bamboo House for a while. Noticing this daily routine, He Jianchen realized the man was rather bewitched and remarked, "I have heard that Li Yun is only moderately attractive and has no particular distinction. Why are you so infatuated with her?" Yang Xingyuan replied, "I myself cannot say what it is. I only feel that her every movement, her every action, pleases me. Even the sound of her voice I find delightful." He Jianchen said, "How strange. I must take a closer look at her tomorrow to see what merit she possesses."

The next day, Yang Xingyuan went again to the Pine and Bamboo House, with He Jianchen in tow. Seeing Yang Xingyuan bring a companion, Li Yun inquired, "Who is this gentleman?" Yang Xingyuan said, "This is my colleague, Mr. He Jianchen." Li Yun then nodded to He Jianchen with a smile. He Jianchen observed her carefully: an oval face, a clear, fair complexion, delicate brows and eyes-indeed, she possessed a certain loveliness. Yet she did not seem extraordinarily beautiful. He said privately to Yang Xingyuan, "To me, she seems rather ordinary. How is it you are so captivated?" Yang Xingyuan answered, "Each person sees with different eyes. I find her pleasing, and that is all that matters."

Li Yun, seeing them whisper, asked, "What ill are you speaking of me now?" Yang Xingyuan said, "We were merely remarking on your beauty." Li Yun laughed and said, "Don't be silly, I won't hear it." With that, she walked to the mirror to adjust her hair. Watching her graceful movements, He Jianchen noted a certain charming artlessness and thought, "Xingyuan is probably fond of her for this reason."

After sitting a while, He Jianchen departed first. Yang Xingyuan remained and conversed with Li Yun for a long time. Li Yun asked, "Will you come tomorrow?" Yang Xingyuan replied, "I will certainly come." Li Yun said, "If you deceive me, I shall pay you no heed hereafter." Yang Xingyuan said, "I would never deceive you."

When Yang Xingyuan returned to the Guild Hall, it was already midnight. An attendant brought him a letter. Opening it, he saw it was from home, informing him his mother was ill and urging his swift return. Reading this, Yang Xingyuan grew deeply anxious, wishing he could depart at once. Yet, at the thought of Li Yun, he felt a deep pang of reluctance."

The following day, Yang Xingyuan asked for leave at the newspaper office and went to the Pine and Bamboo House to bid farewell. Li Yun was overjoyed to see him. Yang Xingyuan said, "I must journey south today; my mother is unwell." Upon hearing this, Li Yun's countenance changed at once. "Are you truly leaving?" she asked. Yang Xingyuan said, "Yes, I have no choice." Li Yun said, "When will you return?" Yang Xingyuan said, "Two months at most, one month at the least." Li Yun said, "With you gone, how shall I fare here alone?" As she spoke, her eyes grew red."

Yang Xingyuan comforted her, saying, "I shall return soon. Do not grieve." Li Yun said, "Take care on your journey. Write to me as soon as you reach home." Yang Xingyuan promised. After sitting a while longer, he rose to take his leave. Li Yun saw him to the door, tears welling in her eyes, and said, "Do not forget me." Yang Xingyuan nodded, his own heart growing heavy with sorrow."

Yang Xingyuan returned to the Guild Hall, packed his belongings, and boarded the train that very evening. The journey passed without event. Arriving at his hometown, he found his mother's illness much improved and was greatly relieved. He remained at home for a fortnight until his mother fully recovered. Then Yang Xingyuan made plans to return to the capital."

Before his departure, his mother admonished him, "When you are away, look after yourself. Do not get into trouble." Yang Xingyuan assented. Returning to Beijing, it was already evening, so he went first to the newspaper office. He Jianchen, seeing him back, said, "So you have returned. Li Yun has been pining for you most painfully." Yang Xingyuan asked, "How do you know?" He Jianchen replied, "The day after you left, she telephoned to inquire. Since then, she has asked almost daily."

Hearing this, Yang Xingyuan was deeply moved and immediately went to the Pine and Bamboo House. Seeing him, Li Yun felt both joy and reproach. "So you still remember to return?" she said. "I thought you would not come back." Yang Xingyuan said, "How could I not come? I have thought of you every day." Li Yun said, "You are lying. If you thought of me, why did you not write more letters?" Yang Xingyuan said, "I wrote three. Did you not receive them?" Li Yun said, "I received only one." They talked for a long while before their former harmony and affection were restored."

From then on, the feelings between Yang Xingyuan and Li Yun grew ever deeper. But Yang Xingyuan was but a poor scholar, and Li Yun a courtesan; theirs was a match fraught with difficulty. Yang often fretted over the future, while Li Yun cared not, so long as they were happy in the present."

One evening, Yang Xingyuan sat with Li Yun until late into the night when a heavy rain began to fall. Li Yun said, "How will you return in such a downpour?" Yang Xingyuan said, "It is of no consequence. I shall wait for the rain to ease." Li Yun said, "Why not stay? Spend the night here." Yang Xingyuan hesitated. "I fear that would be improper," he said. Li Yun replied, "What impropriety? There is nothing improper between us." Seeing her sincerity, Yang Xingyuan agreed."

That night, Yang Xingyuan and Li Yun sat facing the lamp and spoke of many heartfelt matters. Li Yun said, "Someday I wish to follow you. Will you have me?" Yang Xingyuan said, "Of course I will, only I lack the means now." Li Yun said, "I do not fear poverty, so long as your heart is true." Yang Xingyuan said, "My heart is indeed true." Speaking of such sorrowful prospects, they could not help but shed tears together."

The soft patter of rain, the dim glow of the solitary lamp, and the silence that held no wild goose's cry-this scene and the feelings it evoked were utterly forlorn. Only at dawn did the rain cease, and Yang Xingyuan finally took his leave."

Thus unfolded the events captured by the lines: "I see her and pity her: a lone lamp shines on a severed goose; who can dispatch the deep night to carry a fallen leaf?"