Explore Chapter 1 of '呐喊' with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
Two brothers, whose names I shall not mention here, were good friends of mine in high school; after a separation of many years, our communication gradually ceased. I recently heard by chance that one of them was seriously ill; while returning to my hometown, I made a detour to visit them, but met only one, who said the sick person was his younger brother. He thanked me for coming all this way to see him, but added that he had already recovered and had gone to a certain place to await an official post. He then laughed and showed me two volumes of a diary, saying that they might give some idea of his condition at that time, and that he had no objection to my having them as an old friend. I took them home and read them through, and found that the illness was a form of "persecution mania." The entries were incoherent and full of absurdities; moreover, they were undated, and the ink and handwriting varied, so I knew they were not written at one time. Some sections, however, were relatively connected, and I have copied out one part to serve as a subject for medical research. I have not altered a single mistaken word; only, since the names referred to are all villagers, unknown to the world and of no great importance, I have changed them all. As for the title, it was chosen by the diarist himself after his recovery, and I have left it unchanged. April 2, 1918.
One Tonight, the moonlight is very bright. I have not seen it for over thirty years; today when I saw it, I felt unusually refreshed. I realize now that all those past thirty-odd years I have been in a daze; yet I must be extremely careful. Otherwise, why should the Zhao Family’s dog have looked at me twice? I have reason for my fear.
Two There is no moonlight at all today; I know this is a bad omen. This morning when I went out cautiously, Zhao Guiweng had a strange look in his eyes, as if he were afraid of me, as if he wanted to harm me. There were seven or eight others who discussed me in whispers, afraid I might hear. All the people on the street were like that. The fiercest among them bared his teeth and grinned at me; a shiver ran from head to heels, and I knew they had made their arrangements. I am not afraid, but I continue on my way. A group of children in front were also discussing me; the look in their eyes was just like Zhao Guiweng’s, and their faces too were ghastly pale. I wondered what grudge these children could have against me to make them behave like this. I could not help calling out, "Tell me!" Then they ran away. I wonder what grudge Zhao Guiweng has against me, what grudge the people on the street have against me; the only thing is that twenty years ago I trod on Mr. Gujiu’s old ledgers, and Mr. Gujiu was very displeased. Although Zhao Guiweng did not know him, he must have heard talk of this and decided to avenge him, so he is conspiring with the others against me. But then what about the children? At that time they were not yet born, so why should they eye me so strangely today, as if they were afraid of me, as if they wanted to harm me? This really frightens me, it bewilders and saddens me. I understand. They must have been taught by their parents!
Three I cannot sleep at night. Everything requires careful consideration if one is to understand it. Those people-some have been pilloried by the magistrate, some slapped by the local gentry, some have had their wives taken by bailiffs, some have had their parents driven to death by creditors; yet at that time they did not look as frightened or as ferocious as they did yesterday. The most extraordinary thing was that woman on the street yesterday who spanked her son and said, "Little devil! I’d like to bite several mouthfuls out of you to work off my feelings!" Yet all the time her eyes were on me. I gave a start, unable to hide my alarm; and then all those long-toothed people with livid faces began to roar with laughter. Chen Laowu rushed forward and dragged me home. He dragged me home. The folk at home all pretended not to know me; they had the same look in their eyes as all the others. When I went into the study, they locked the door outside as if cooping up a chicken or a duck. This incident filled me with even more misgivings. A few days ago, a tenant from Wolf Cub Village, came to report the failure of the crops and told my elder brother that a notorious character in their village had been beaten to death; then some people had taken out his heart and liver, fried them in oil, and eaten them, as a means of increasing their courage. When I interrupted, the tenant and my brother both stared at me. Only today have I realized that they had exactly the same look in their eyes as those people outside. The mere thought of it is enough to make me shiver from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet. They eat human beings, so they may eat me. I see that woman’s "bite several mouthfuls out of you," the laughter of those long-toothed people with livid faces, and the tenant’s story the other day are clearly secret signs. I realize all the poison in their speech, all the daggers in their laughter. Their teeth are white and glistening: they use these teeth to eat men. Evidently, although I am not a bad man, ever since I trod on Mr. Gujiu’s ledgers it has been touch-and-go. They seem to have secrets which I cannot guess. Once they turn against you, they will call you a bad character. I remember when my elder brother taught me to write compositions, no matter how good a man was, if I produced arguments to the contrary he would mark that passage to show his approval; while if I excused evil-doers he would say, "Good for you, that shows originality." How can I possibly guess their secret thoughts-especially when they are ready to eat people? Everything requires careful consideration if one is to understand it. In ancient times, as I recollect, people often ate human beings, but I am rather hazy about it. I tried to look this up, but my history has no chronology and scrawled all over each page are the words: "Benevolence, righteousness, and virtue." Since I could not sleep anyway, I read intently half the night until I began to see words between the lines; the whole book was filled with the two words: "Eat people." All these words written in the book, all the words spoken by the tenant, gaze at me strangely with enigmatic smiles. I too am a man, and they want to eat me!
Four In the morning I sat quietly for some time. Chen Laowu brought in lunch: one bowl of vegetables, one bowl of steamed fish. The eyes of the fish were white and hard, and its mouth was open just like those people who want to eat human beings. After eating a few chopsticks, I could not tell whether the slippery morsels were fish or human flesh, so I brought it all up. I said, "Lao Wu, tell my brother I feel quite suffocated and want to have a walk in the garden." He walked away without saying anything, but presently the door was opened. I did not move, studying how they would treat me, knowing that they would not let me go. Sure enough! My elder brother led an old man in slowly, and he had a vicious gleam in his eye, fearing, I suppose, that I would see it; so he kept his head bent, stealing glances at me from the side of his spectacles. "You seem very well today," said my brother. "Yes," said I. "I have invited Mr. He here today to examine you." "All right," I replied. Actually I knew quite well that this old man was the executioner in disguise! He was simply using the pretext of feeling my pulse to see how fat I was; for this would entitle him to a share of my flesh. Still I was not afraid. Although I do not eat men, my courage is greater than theirs. I held out my two fists to see what he would do. The old man sat down, closed his eyes, fumbled for some time, and remained motionless for some time; then he opened his shifty eyes and said, "Don’t let your imagination run away with you. Rest quietly for a few days, and you will be all right." Don’t let your imagination run away with you! Rest quietly! When I am fat, of course they will have more to eat; but what good will it do me, or how can it be "all right"? All these people wanting to eat human flesh and at the same time stealthily trying to keep up appearances, not daring to act promptly, really made me nearly die of laughter. I could not help roaring with laughter, I was so amused. I knew that in this laughter were courage and integrity. Both the old man and my brother turned pale, awed by my courage and integrity. But just because I am brave they are all the more eager to eat me, to acquire some of my courage. The old man went out of the gate, but before he had gone many steps he said to my brother in a low voice, "To be eaten at once!" My brother nodded. So you are in it too! This stupendous discovery, although it came as a shock, is yet no more than I had expected: the accomplice in eating me is my elder brother! The eater of human flesh is my elder brother! I am the brother of an eater of human flesh! I myself will be eaten by others, but none the less I am the brother of an eater of human flesh!
Five These days I have been thinking again: suppose that old man were not an executioner in disguise but a real doctor; he would still be an eater of human flesh. In their ancestor Li Shizhen’s book "Compendium of Materia Medica," it is clearly written that human flesh can be boiled and eaten; so how can he still deny that he eats human flesh? As for my elder brother, I have also good reason to suspect him. When he was teaching me, he told me himself, "People exchange their sons to eat." And once in discussing a bad man, he said that not only did he deserve to be killed, but "His flesh should be eaten and his skin slept on." I was still young then, and my heart beat faster for some time. The other day when the tenant from Wolf Cub Village, spoke of eating a man’s heart and liver, he did not show the least surprise, but kept nodding his head. He is evidently just as cruel as before. Since it is possible to "exchange sons to eat," then anything can be exchanged, anyone can be eaten. In the past I simply listened to his explanations and let it go at that; now I know that when he explained it to me, not only was there human grease at the corner of his lips, but his whole heart was set on eating men.
Six Pitch dark. I do not know whether it is day or night. The Zhao Family’s dog has started barking again. The fierceness of a lion, the timidity of a rabbit, the craftiness of a fox, …
Seven I know their way: they are not willing to kill anyone outright, nor do they dare, for fear of the consequences. So they have all banded together and set traps everywhere to force me to kill myself. Judging by the way the men and women on the street looked a few days ago and the way my elder brother has been treating me recently, I can see through their whole scheme. The best plan is to take off my belt and hang myself from a beam. Then they would not be guilty of murder, yet their wish would be fulfilled; naturally they would be delighted and would utter a mournful kind of cry. Otherwise they would frighten and worry me to death; although I should be thinner, they would still be willing. They only eat dead flesh! I remember reading somewhere of a hideous beast called a "Hyena" with an ugly look in its eye, which often eats dead flesh. Even the largest bones it grinds up and swallows, and it is this that makes me shudder. The "Hyena" is related to the wolf, and the wolf is kin to the dog. The other day the Zhao Family’s dog looked at me several times: obviously it is in the plot too, and has long since joined them. The old man who kept his eyes on the ground-how could he fool me? The most pitiable is my elder brother. He is a man too, so why is he not afraid, why is he plotting with others to eat me? Is force of habit so strong that he loses all heart? Or is it that he harbors no conscience and knowingly does wrong? I curse all eaters of human flesh, starting with him; I will convert all eaters of human flesh, starting with him.
Eight Actually, such arguments should have convinced them long ago. … Suddenly someone came in. He was only about twenty years old, and I did not see his features very clearly. His face was wreathed in smiles, but when he nodded to me his smile did not seem genuine. I asked him, "Is it right to eat human beings?" Still smiling, he replied, "In times of famine people eat each other." I realized at once, he was one of them; but still I summoned up courage to repeat my question: "Is it right?" "What does it matter whether it’s right or not? You are really too … outspoken. … It is fine today." "It is fine, and the moonlight is very bright. But I want to ask you: Is it right?" He looked disconcerted and muttered, "No …" "No? Then why do they still do it?" "What are you talking about?" "What am I talking about? They are eating men at Wolf Cub Village, and in the books it is written, freshly written in blood!" His face turned ashen. He said, "Maybe it’s so, but it has always been like this …" "Does that make it right?" "I am not going to discuss it with you. Anyway, you shouldn’t talk about it. Anyone who talks about it is in the wrong!" I leaped up and opened my eyes wide, but the man had vanished. I was soaked with perspiration. He was much younger than my elder brother, yet even he was in it. He must have been taught by his parents. And I am afraid he has already taught his son: that is why even the children look at me so fiercely.
Nine Wanting to eat men, at the same time afraid of being eaten themselves, they all look at each other with the deepest suspicion. … It would be so easy to change this. They need only take one step forward, and it would all be over, and they could live in peace. But they are father and son, brothers, husband and wife, teacher and pupil, sworn enemies, and even strangers, all of them pulling together, encouraging each other, and refusing to take that step.
Ten Early in the morning I went to find my elder brother. He was standing outside the hall door looking at the sky when I walked up behind him, stood between him and the door, and said to him with exceptional composure and politeness, "Brother, I have something to say to you." "Go ahead then," he replied, turning quickly towards me and nodding. "It’s only a few words, but I find them hard to express. Brother, probably all primitive people ate a little human flesh to begin with. Later, because their outlook changed, some of them stopped and tried so hard to do what was right that they changed into men, into real men. But some are still eating-just like reptiles. Some have changed into fish, birds, monkeys, and finally men; but those who do not try to do what is right are still reptiles. When you think of the eaters of human flesh, how ashamed they must feel, probably no less than the reptiles before monkeys. "Yi Ya boiled his son for Jie and Zhou to eat; that is still an old story. Who could have known that from the creation of heaven and earth men have been eating each other, from the time of Yi Ya’s son to the time of Xu Xilin, and from the time of Xu Xilin down to the man caught in Wolf Cub Village. Last year they executed a criminal in the city, and a consumptive soaked a piece of bread in his blood and sucked it. "They want to eat me, and of course you can do nothing about it single-handed; but why should you join them? Eaters of human flesh, capable of anything! If they can eat me, they can eat you as well; members of the same group can still eat each other. But if you will just change, change immediately, then everyone will have peace. Although this has been going on since time immemorial, we could make a special effort today, and say it must not continue! I know you can say it, brother. The other day when the tenant wanted the rent reduced, you said it couldn’t be done." At first he only smiled cynically, then a murderous gleam came into his eyes, and when I spoke of their secret his face turned pale. Outside the gate stood a group of people, including Zhao Guiweng and his dog, all craning their necks to peer in. I could not see all their faces, for they seemed to be masked; some of them looked like the livid-faced, long-toothed people I had seen before, but they were not smiling. I knew they were all one gang, all eaters of human flesh. But I also knew that they did not all think alike. Some thought that since it had always been so, men should be eaten. Some knew they should not eat men but still wanted to, and were afraid people might discover their secret; so although they were listening to me they were furious, yet they still managed to smile coldly. Suddenly my brother looked furious. He shouted in a loud voice, "Get out, all of you! What is the point of looking at a madman!" Then I realized part of their cunning. They would never be willing to change, and their plans were all laid; they had stigmatized me as a madman. In future when they have eaten me, not only will there be no trouble, but people will probably thank them. This is the same method as the tenant’s when he said everyone had eaten the bad man. This is their old trick! Chen Laowu came in with a set expression on his face. How could I keep quiet? I must tell these people, "You can change, change from the bottom of your hearts! You must know that in future there will be no place for man-eaters in the world. "If you don’t change, you may all be eaten by each other. However many of you there are, you will be wiped out by the real men, just as wolves are killed by hunters-just like reptiles!" The whole lot of them were chased away by Chen Laowu. My brother had disappeared too. Chen Laowu urged me to go back to my room. The room was pitch dark. The beams and rafters shook above my head. After shaking for a time they grew larger and piled on top of me. The weight was so tremendous, I could not move. They meant that I should die. I knew that the weight was false, so I struggled out, covered in perspiration. But I had to say, "You must change at once, change from the bottom of your hearts! You must know that in future there will be no place for man-eaters in the world! …"
Eleven The sun does not shine, the door is not opened, every day we have two meals. I picked up my chopsticks and thought of my elder brother; I know now how my little sister died. She was only five at that time, and I can still remember how lovable and pathetic she looked. Mother cried and cried, but he begged her not to cry, probably because he had eaten her himself, and so crying would have made him feel ashamed. If he really felt ashamed, … Whether mother realized that my sister had been eaten by my brother, I cannot say; and I do not know whether she realized that he had eaten her himself. I think that although she may not have said so, she must have known it; but when she cried she did not say so outright, probably because she also thought it proper. I remember when I was four or five years old, sitting in the cool of the hall, my brother told me that if a man’s parents were ill he should cut off a piece of his flesh and boil it for them if he wanted to be considered a good son; and mother did not contradict him. If one piece could be eaten, obviously so could the whole. And yet just to think of the crying that day makes my heart bleed; it is extraordinary!
Twelve I can think no more. For four thousand years man-eating has been going on, and I myself have been living unknown to myself in a place where for four thousand years they have been eating human flesh. My brother has just taken over charge of the house, and my sister died; so it is quite possible that he ate her without my knowing it. In my ignorance, I may have eaten a few pieces of my sister’s flesh myself, and now it is my turn … How can a man like myself, after four thousand years of man-eating history-even though I knew nothing about it at first-ever hope to face real men?
Thirteen Perhaps there are still children who have not eaten men? Save the children …