Explore Chapter 10 of "八十一梦 五子登科" with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
I read the Classic of Mountains and Seas in my childhood. I always found it too absurd. Later I read a novel called Mirror Flower Fate, and the author actually used the Classic of Mountains and Seas as a basis to take a grand tour of another world. This made me half-believe and half-doubt. Not to mention other things, just this Doghead Kingdom seems utterly implausible. Humans have all their body parts fully developed, so why should this head still be stuck in the realm of four-legged beasts? Later, I watched American sound films and saw the movie “Dog Family”. The dogs really stood up, wore Western suits, ate Western food, and lived like humans. So I thought that perhaps the people of the Doghead Kingdom are like that. I myself had no money to go abroad, nor did I have the qualifications to use public funds for travel expenses, so I could not verify whether there actually is such a Doghead Kingdom in the universe. However, human affairs are unpredictable. Somehow, I finally got a chance.
My friend Wan Shitong, who worked at an airline company, called me one morning and said he was going to fly to the nearest stop on some official business and would be back within two hours. He could take me along to experience the taste of aviation. Having been still for too long and longing for a change, I kept the appointment and went.
In front of us, three giant silver planes were lined up. One had its cabin door open with a short staircase placed, quietly awaiting passengers. Mr. Wan Shitong, a man who never made mistakes, went straight up the stairs, turning back to wave at me a few times. As a greenhorn flyer, I naturally followed the experienced one. When I entered the cabin, there was already one person inside. The other empty seats were only occupied by some cloth bags, leaving just two empty seats.
A steward nearby came up with a smile and asked, “Mr. Wan, aren’t you going to the Doghead Kingdom?” Reminded by this, Wan Shitong looked at the cloth bags in front of him and couldn’t help slapping his thigh and exclaiming, “Terrible! Terrible! Brother Zhang, I’ve played a big joke on you.” I asked, “Is this plane really going to the Doghead Kingdom?”
Shi Tong said, “That’s right. We can’t go back today.” I was flustered too, and said, “Out of kindness you brought me on the plane for a tour, but I don’t have any money to buy foreign exchange for a ticket back home!” Shi Tong said, “Not only you, but I’m in the same boat. Fortunately, I work for the company, so I can put it on the account.” When I heard that the account could be used, which at worst meant debt, I felt at ease. Then I asked, “The book said there is a Doghead Kingdom. Is it really true?” Shi Tong laughed and said, “It’s a mistranscription of the sound. Based on the original pronunciation, it’s roughly between the Mandarin sounds ‘ge’ and ‘te’. A slight shift turns it into ‘dog head’. In fact, the people of that country have ordinary human heads and bodies, not dog heads on their shoulders. This place consists of several small islands in the great ocean. You don’t need to ask more. This small country is unique in every way. If you visit it, you will certainly gain much interest.”
The man who was accompanying the plane smiled at me slightly. After talking with each other, I learned that he was a merchant named Wei Facai. He had a round, fair face, a small Chaplin-like mustache, and wore a handsome Western suit. He was a spirited person. While we were talking, the ocean and islands appeared below the plane. The plane descended toward an island, and on a large open square, a huge black flag fluttered in the wind. In the middle of the black flag were three yellow patterns of ancient coins. According to Shi Tong, this was the national flag of the Doghead Kingdom.
When Wei Facai saw the destination, he pulled out two large handfuls of candy and told us to put them in our pockets. He said, “When you meet the people who come to welcome you at the airport, you can secretly give one to each of them.” Hearing this, I was a bit stunned and looked at Shi Tong. Shi Tong nodded and smiled, “It’s really like that. The people of the Doghead Kingdom love to eat candy because this country lacks sugar. Giving them candy is like us Chinese offering a friend a cigarette.” I said, “If that’s the case, why not just openly present a piece of candy? Why secretly hand it over?” Shi Tong said, “This is the peculiarity of the Doghead Kingdom. From the king down to the poorest commoner, they all consider private exchanges as a sign of affection.”
As we spoke, the plane landed at the airport. The cabin door opened, and Wei Facai got off first. We followed. At the airport, a crowd of welcoming people surrounded us. Looking at their appearance, their skin was black, their foreheads and chins were protruding, somewhat like dogs; their eyes were yellow, which was even more different from us. As for clothing, they wore Western-style suits and leather shoes, but mostly in yellow.
The first to greet Wei Facai was a short, fat man in a golden-yellow Western suit, with a golden-yellow shirt and tie inside, looking like a gilded man. When he saw Wei Facai, he first bowed deeply, then said with a smile, “I heard that Mr. Wei has brought a lot of candy this time. It is truly a godsend.” He spoke very fluent Chinese. Facai said, “Apart from us few, we have brought as much candy as possible.” As they shook hands, I saw him squeeze a handful of candy and pass it from his palm. Turning around, Facai introduced him to us as the “Gutmanler” of this island. “Gutmanler” translates to “local governor” in Chinese. So we shook hands one by one, secretly passing candy. Then many more people in yellow Western suits came to welcome us, and we treated them in the same way.
That Gutmanler called for three carriages and said to Facai, “I would like to invite the three gentlemen to my residence for a rest. And the goods you brought can be transported there as well.” Facai laughed and said, “That’s not appropriate, is it? I am doing business for the entire island. If I take both people and goods to your mansion, people will say that I, Wei, only deal with one household. In the future, when I ship goods here, the island’s sugar merchants will refuse to buy.” Gutmanler slapped his chest and said, “What does it matter? It would be even better if these sugar merchants quit business. I and a group of friends will take it all over. The people of our island cannot stop buying candy, just as people in your country cannot stop smoking cigarettes. I will hoard all the imported candy, and there is no fear that the common people will not buy.” Facai smiled and said, “If you do that, you can raise the sugar price as high as you like, and if the people of your island all quit candy, my business will be ruined.” Gutmanler said, “What’s so difficult about that? As soon as I see a trend of people quitting candy, I will immediately loosen the price.” No matter what Facai said, he wouldn’t relent. The rough men he brought had already climbed onto the plane themselves and began moving the cloth bags of various sizes onto the carriages. Although Wei Facai frowned as he watched, he did not stop them. I understood his dilemma: if he offended this chieftain of the island, who could completely ban candy imports, he would not be able to do business either. In his moment of hesitation, all the candy he brought had already been loaded onto the carriages. Gutmanler then invited us three guests into an open carriage and accompanied us himself.
We rode in the same carriage and soon entered a bustling market street. The small island had only shops of bamboo and wood planks, nothing praiseworthy. The strangest thing was that many people were standing in a line under the eaves of houses, and at the front of the line was a small candy shop. I asked, “Are all these people buying candy to eat?” Gutmanler looked ahead and pretended not to hear. Wan Shitong smiled and nodded.
So I watched the candy buyers carefully. At the entrance of the candy shop, there was a large black sign with white characters written in Chinese—it turned out that this country, like Japan, borrowed Chinese characters. I moved closer and saw two lines clearly: “Zongzi candy (rice dumpling candy) fifteen taels of silver per pound; lemon candy twenty-four taels per pound.” I asked Wei Facai, “What? The candy prices are so high? Wouldn’t the cost of living on this island scare us outsiders to death?” Gutmanler laughed and said, “That’s because candy is a consumable, and we levy an extra 100% tax on it as a luxury, so the price is high. Also, recently, because less candy has arrived, the price has risen a bit.” As he spoke, the carriage approached another candy shop. I saw that all the candy buyers were holding up shining white silver in their hands, and people behind were stretching their silver over the heads of those in front to hand it to the counter. I asked, “With such high prices, people still pass money over others’ heads to buy candy. One can imagine how much the people of your island love candy.” Gutmanler smiled at me slightly, and with that smile, he puffed out his chest, as if to say, “That’s why I can get rich.”
At this moment, the two carriages carrying sugar behind us sped past us. It seemed that the people on the street had exceptionally keen noses, for they smelled the sugar scent from the carriages and turned their heads to stare wide-eyed as the two carriages went by. Some even tilted their heads, with a long stream of saliva flowing from the corners of their mouths, their eyes rolling back in white, their bodies standing still like statues, their faces ashen. From this sight, it seemed that some people, because candy was too expensive, had not tasted sweetness for a long time, so when the fragrance of sugar filled the street, they couldn’t help drooling with the desire for candy they couldn’t afford.
As I was thinking, the carriage arrived at the master’s house. It was naturally a very fine Western-style house, but the gate was closed, and a crowd of people stood outside. At first I thought they were also from the household, but when our carriage stopped, a long-bearded man came up, blocked the carriage, and mumbled something in the local dialect. Gutmanler then whispered to Wei Facai in Chinese, “Mr. Wei, raise the sugar price as high as you can. At least say that the wholesale price of zongzi candy is twenty taels per pound. Also, say that all the goods you brought have already been bought up by someone, so you can only give them a little next time.” Wei Facai indeed spoke a few words in the local dialect to that man. The crowd gathered at the gate heard the news, said nothing, let out an “Ah!” and scattered. The old man lifted the hem of his tattered coat, stuck his head forward as if to plunge, and ran away stumbling.
I was stunned, staring blankly at them. Wan Shitong patted me on the shoulder and laughed, “Don’t you understand the mystery? These people are all candy dealers. Although they use silver to buy candy, they don’t want the price to go down. Why? Because each of them has some stock at home. Didn’t you see the price posted on the street? Zongzi candy is fifteen taels a pound. Now with one word from Mr. Wei, their stock will earn an extra five taels per pound within seconds.” I said, “I see. Then why do they have to run?” Gutmanler said, “These profiteers are truly detestable! They got the news and want to take advantage of those who haven’t heard it. According to the market price, they offer one tael or eight mace extra to buy up candy, and in a blink, they can make a few taels more. If they are late and the news spreads, those who have candy will all raise prices, and they won’t be able to monopolize.”
While talking, the host led us into the guest room. First, we were served tea, cigarettes, and pastries. Later, wine and dishes were offered. We were chatting freely when someone came in and reported quietly to the host. The host stood up and repeatedly answered, “Let’s go to the next room.” He turned to us and said, “Actually, it’s nothing serious. After all, it’s just the sugar shortage in our island these two days. Please sit and relax for a while.” With that, he got up and went to the next room.
In our room, we could hear the conversation next door. Sometimes the tone was tense, sometimes there were bursts of laughter and noise. I didn’t understand the local language and was quite puzzled. Wan Shitong laughed and said, “It’s none of our business, don’t worry. The visitors are the host’s business partners. They say that there are still some whole bags of candy scattered on the market, and they have collected them all. In any case, from today on, not a single piece of candy will be sold. Fortunately, no other supplies will arrive for the time being. Within three days, they want to create a trend where each piece of candy sells for five mace of silver. Apart from them, there seems to be another organization that has also hoarded some candy, but it’s smaller. They are trying to knock down that organization. But since candy prices are rising, that organization is still making money every day, and it’s not easy to take over.” I said, “Brother Wan, let’s leave this place. This host’s heart is too ruthless. If this continues, it might be like Zhang Qing’s inn at Crossroads Slope—they might turn us into steamed bun fillings!” Wei Facai laughed and said, “Don’t worry about that! He still relies on us to ship sugar for him.”
At this moment, several sallow-faced, emaciated people rushed into the room with glazed eyes and drooling saliva. A group of the host’s servants followed, shouting, “Where are you going?” The leader was a white-bearded old man. He came up and made three deep bows to us. Although it was unsightly to bow while wearing a Western suit, his posture was quite natural. Then he spoke in Chinese and pleaded, “Three gentlemen from the superior country, you come from a land of etiquette. You should pity us, a people addicted to sugar. Before your arrival, although candy was expensive, those with money could still buy it. Ever since you three graced us, all the candy shops on the street have closed.” Shi Tong asked, “Perhaps they sold out their stock. What does that have to do with us?” The old man said, “It is precisely because of your arrival, sirs. They know the news you brought: that candy prices will rise further. They don’t know how high the rise will go, so they keep the candy a little longer to make more profit. They simply refuse to sell a single piece, waiting until the price stabilizes. This has really worried us to death.” I couldn’t help sighing and said, “You people are really too stubborn. Candy is not a daily necessity like firewood, rice, oil, or salt. Can’t you just stop eating it?” The old man smiled bitterly and said, “Sir, the reason is very simple. If we could give up this addiction, we would have stopped long ago. Why would we save half of our bread money every day to buy candy? Now it’s even worse—the money for candy exceeds the money for food.” I turned to Facai and said, “Mr. Wei, you know this island well. Why are they so determined to eat candy? It’s not like opium—after eating it, you become addicted.” Facai said, “Isn’t addiction just a habit?” Seeing the pitiful state of these people, he said, “Tell me, what do you want from us?” The old man said, “We hope the superior country will send us more candy. We also know that you three gentlemen have brought a lot of candy with you. Please be merciful.” Wei Facai said, “We…” Before he could finish, Gutmanler burst in, clapping his hands and stamping his feet, and scolded those people severely. The people said nothing in response and simply left.
Although I didn’t know exactly what he was cursing, I saw that those people’s eyes were fixed and thought the scolding must have been fierce. I couldn’t stand the host’s behavior, so I asked Wan Shitong to go sightseeing on the streets together. The host considered us as Gods of Wealth and even sent two island soldiers to escort us.
The first impression upon stepping onto the street was a deep surprise: people walked in three classes. Those in yellow clothes and yellow hats walked in the center of the road; those in white walked on both sides; the rest had to stay under the eaves of houses. The street was asphalt, the sides were gravel, and under the eaves was a muddy road mixed with pebbles, very difficult to walk. The class distinction was obvious. I asked an island soldier, “Who can wear yellow clothes?” Wan Shitong first translated my question into the local dialect and told him. Then he told Wan Shitong in the dialect, and Shi Tong translated to me: “Those in yellow are official merchants, those in white are ordinary merchants, and the rest are commoners. Yellow represents gold, white represents silver. According to local custom, only those who engage in commerce can become officials, and being an official makes it even easier to do business. Among the official merchants, the transport administrator is the most powerful, second only to the island chief, because all foreign goods first pass through his hands. He can manipulate the entire island’s finances.” I asked, “How can he manipulate the island’s finances?” Shi Tong said, “The people on this island have a peculiarity: they believe everything foreign is better. Foreign goods must go through the transport administrator’s hands. By custom, he takes charge of all imports. Once he buys the goods, he can set any price he wants, earning as much as he likes. The people here also know about tariff barriers; foreign goods are taxed at 200%, meaning for one tael of foreign goods, two taels of tax are levied. The island officials hope that foreign goods become more expensive so they can collect more taxes. So you see, the transport administrator has the power to increase or decrease the island’s tax revenue—isn’t that manipulating the finances?” I asked, “Can’t the people here avoid using foreign goods?” Shi Tong shook his head and said, “How could they? The rich people here all have a problem: if they don’t use foreign goods, they start coughing, and the sound of coughing is quite like a puppy’s bark.”
Just as we were saying this, suddenly there were a few dog barks in the center of the street. I looked but saw no dogs, and didn’t know where the sound came from. Shi Tong pointed at a man in yellow clothes in the middle of the street and said, “That man is suffering from a lack of foreign goods.” I looked and saw the man sitting in an open carriage, bent over, coughing desperately. The sound of his coughing was just like a puppy’s bark. The carriage driver and an attendant were very anxious, stopped the carriage, and kept pounding his back. The driver, catching sight of us two Chinese, rushed over and bowed to us. Wan Shitong asked him a question, then couldn’t help laughing heartily, and said to me, “Do you want to beat someone up?” I was stunned, not understanding, and just stared at him. Shi Tong laughed and said, “His master is a medicine merchant who also serves as the supervisor of the entire island’s public cemeteries. He has a peculiar ailment: often suffers from heartburn. Whenever this happens, he needs someone to beat his spine. But if a native beats him, it has no effect. He specially hired a Western boxer to beat him at home. Whenever he has his dog-barking illness, a Western fist cures him. Now that he is on the street and can’t find a Western boxer in time, seeing that we are also foreigners on this island, the driver specially came to ask us to hit him.” I laughed and said, “What nonsense!” Seeing me laugh, the driver thought I refused, so he knelt on the ground and kowtowed. I said to Wan Shitong, “In any case, I can’t just hit someone for no reason. You be the good guy.” He just laughed and didn’t move. But the rich medicine merchant in the carriage, supported by his servant, came forward pleading. Being a rich man, he naturally spoke Chinese. He bowed deeply to us and said, “Gentlemen, I am about to die. Please hit me a few times.” He bent over and just groaned. Wan Shitong felt a bit sorry for him, so he lightly patted him on the back a few times. The merchant suddenly groaned and cursed, “You bastard! You bastard! You damned bastard!” Hearing him curse, Wan Shitong raised his hand and gave him a slap on the face. With a “smack,” the left side of his cheek turned red. Suddenly he stopped groaning, straightened up, turned his right cheek to us, and said loudly, “Do you dare to hit this side too?” Shi Tong, caught up in the moment, didn’t care if it was too much, and gave him another slap on the right cheek. The man immediately beamed with joy, bowed deeply to Shi Tong, and said, “Thank you, brother. My illness is cured. In any case, a foreign slap is a hundred times more valuable than a local slap. A single slap cures all ills.” With that, he happily got back into his carriage and left.
At first I was stunned. Then after a moment, I understood and couldn’t help laughing heartily. Shi Tong also laughed and said, “In my thirty or forty years of life, I’ve only seen people using tricks to cheat money, but never seen people using tricks to cheat a beating. The people on this island are really peculiar—they are afraid no one will hit them.” My interest in the islanders’ obsession with foreign goods was piqued, and I said to Shi Tong, “Let’s walk through all the streets of this island. Maybe we’ll discover even more interesting things.” Shi Tong laughed and said, “If these islanders say foreign slaps are good, they might as well say the flesh of outsiders is also delicious. It’ll be like the monster in Journey to the West eating Tang Sanzang’s flesh—they might butcher us alive and eat us.” I laughed and said, “That’s unlikely. After all, the officials here need us to ship goods from China to make them rich. For the sake of silver, they have to protect us.” Shi Tong smiled and spoke a few words in the local dialect to the two island soldiers, and they led the way. After walking two or three streets, we saw a Western restaurant with a row of armed island guards stationed at the entrance. On this island, riding in a double-horse carriage was considered the height of luxury. We saw one carriage after another arriving at the door, and people in yellow or white clothes all got off at the Western restaurant. Even just looking at the three-story Western-style facade, it was quite grand. There was a sign written in Chinese: “Abyssinia Restaurant.” I involuntarily let out an “Eh?” and asked Shi Tong, “Using a foreign place name as a signboard is also a practice in our country. But we always use big countries; at the very least we boast with Belgium or Mexico. Abyssinia is a small country. What glory is there in adopting its name?” Shi Tong scratched his head, something he did when he didn’t understand, and then asked the island soldier. The soldier mumbled for a long time. Finally Shi Tong told us, “He has no idea that Abyssinia is a country. When I asked him why they used this name, he said it’s because the name sounds very strange when spoken—‘iya iya’—so they chose it. ‘Isn’t it a good name?’ he asked. This restaurant is the most famous on the whole island. Each Western meal costs one hundred taels of silver. To qualify for dining at Abyssinia, an islander must have made a huge fortune unjustly.” I asked, “What are those armed island guards for?” Shi Tong asked the soldier and then told me, “Although Western food here costs one hundred taels per meal, every day people fight over seats. The guards maintain order.” I couldn’t help lifting my head and declaiming, “How wealthy, indeed, are the people of the Doghead Kingdom!”
Just as we were saying this, the two island soldiers guiding us suddenly ran off into a narrow alley. I also went to look and saw a group of beggars fighting there. Two or three of them were bleeding from head injuries, lying on the ground. Among them, a few beggars were grabbing chicken and fish bones from a ditch and stuffing them into broken bowls. In front of that ditch was a back door with a small sign that read “Abyssinia Grand Restaurant Kitchen.” The beggars picking up bones saw the island soldiers, straightened up, and ran away, their footsteps slapping the ground. I looked ahead and saw a dark mass of shadows—probably several hundred people. I asked Shi Tong, “Are the beggars also coming here to taste the flavor of Abyssinia?” Shi Tong shook his head and said, “No, no. It’s not that. Here, people with food walk on the main street; beggars walk in the alleys. This island has the largest number of beggars in the world. If you don’t believe me, follow this crowd and see.” Hearing this, I walked along the alley for less than thirty meters when I saw two beggar corpses lying on the ground. One body was half-covered with a straw mat; the other was completely naked, its skin grayish-black, and every bone was protruding through the skin. While I was still astonished, I kept walking. I saw a vast sea in the distance, touching the edge of the sky, with a few sailing ships flying pirate flags appearing and disappearing on the water. The fleeing beggars had vanished, and from near to far, all the way to the beach, there were skeletons of the poor, both large and small. When I looked more carefully, they were not skeletons but the garden walls of some houses, with human figures carved in stone, all naked, at the base. The carving craftsmanship was excellent, each figure in a vivid performance pose. Just as I was admiring them, unexpectedly, all the stone carvings moved, let out a great shout, and rushed toward me. Do you think I’d have the nerve to keep admiring the sculpture?