Explore Chapter 110 of 'The Story of the Golden Powder Family' with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
After Jin Yanxi had talked with Xiuzhu at the Bai residence for a while, Xiuzhu said, "Since you have the intention to go abroad, I'll speak to my brother and have him get you a passport. What do you think?" Yanxi laughed and said, "That would be excellent. As long as I can leave, I'll do whatever it takes." Xiuzhu replied, "That's no problem at all. Once you make up your mind, everything can be resolved." Upon hearing this, Yanxi was naturally delighted. But upon second thought, considering the situation at home, if he were to leave just like that, it would be too heartless. However, given the current circumstances, staying at home was futile. It would be cleaner to steel his heart and depart. Thinking thus, he had a meal at Xiuzhu's house. Xiuzhu discussed the procedures for going abroad with Yanxi in detail, and Yanxi then returned home with peace of mind.
Upon returning home, Yanxi saw that Feng Ju and his wife, along with Peng Zhen and his wife, were all in Mrs. Jin's room. Mrs. Jin was lying reclined on the sofa, with Mei Li holding a bowl of medicine, standing by her side. Mrs. Jin's eyes were red. She looked at Yanxi, then at everyone, and said, "You've come back now, that's good. I have some important words to say to you." Seeing his mother in such a state and hearing her speak so suddenly, Yanxi was startled and said, "Is something the matter?" Mrs. Jin replied, "There's no major issue, but the efforts of my entire life are now wasted. What more can I say? I only hope that you brothers will each seek your own lives. My illness is unlikely to improve. If anything happens, you need not grieve too much. In this world, everyone must return sooner or later. As long as you live well, I'll be at peace." As she spoke, Mrs. Jin's voice choked up.
Feng Ju saw his mother in such distress and said, "Why must you be so sorrowful, Mother? We brothers may not have achieved much, but we won't starve to death. Please rest quietly and recover." Mrs. Jin shook her head and said, "I'm not worried that you'll starve. I'm heartbroken that my lifelong efforts have come to nothing. Among brothers, fighting over a little assets only invites ridicule from others." As she spoke, she glanced at Peng Zhen and Yanxi. Peng Zhen lowered his head without a word. Yanxi flushed and said, "Why trouble yourself with such concerns while you're ill, Mother?" Mrs. Jin replied, "I don't mean to trouble myself, but I speak my mind as I think of things."
Mrs. Jin spoke for a while until she grew weary. She closed her eyes to rest. Everyone dared not disturb her and quietly withdrew. Yanxi walked outside and saw Jin Rong standing under the corridor, giving him a meaningful look. Yanxi approached, and Jin Rong whispered, "Seventh Master, I heard that Miss Bai plans to go abroad with you. Is that true?" Yanxi asked, "Who told you that?" Jin Rong smiled and said, "I've just heard people say so." Yanxi pressed, "What exactly have you heard?" Jin Rong replied, "I heard that in your current situation, staying at home is hopeless. It might be better to take Miss Bai's path and go abroad to try your luck. Perhaps you'll find some position there, which is better than sitting idle at home."
Yanxi was somewhat stirred by these words. He said, "What do you know? Don't talk nonsense." Jin Rong saw that Yanxi did not entirely deny it and knew there was some truth to the rumor. He said, "If you have any instructions, Seventh Master, I can help with some matters." Yanxi replied, "There's nothing I need you to do." Jin Rong suggested, "For instance, if you need to prepare luggage for departure, I can handle that." Yanxi asked, "How do you know I'm leaving?" Jin Rong smiled and said, "I guessed." Yanxi sighed and said, "My mind is in turmoil right now. I truly don't know what to do." Jin Rong said, "If you feel stifled at home, Seventh Master, it might be good to go out and refresh yourself."
Yanxi said, "How could you understand my worries? It's easy for me to leave, but can I just abandon the whole family like that?" Jin Rong replied, "With Third Master and Fourth Master managing this household, your presence or absence makes little difference." Yanxi said, "You make it sound so simple." With that, he listlessly walked back to his room. There, he saw Leng Qingqiu sitting inside, reading a book. She put the book down upon seeing Yanxi enter. Yanxi asked, "How are you feeling now?" Leng Qingqiu replied, "Just as usual, neither good nor bad." Yanxi said, "You should take good care of yourself and not overexert your mind." Leng Qingqiu gave a faint smile and said, "What exertion? I'm just living day by day."
Yanxi saw that Leng Qingqiu's demeanor carried a hint of resentment. He felt somewhat uneasy and said, "My mind has been unsettled these past days. If I've offended you in any way, please forgive me." Leng Qingqiu said, "What is there to forgive? We both know the truth in our hearts." Hearing this, Yanxi sat dumbly in a chair, silent for a long while. Leng Qingqiu asked, "Have you eaten?" Yanxi shook his head. Leng Qingqiu said, "I'll have them prepare something for you." Yanxi replied, "No need, I have no appetite."
Leng Qingqiu saw Yanxi in this state and did not press further. She returned to her book. Yanxi sat for a while, finding it dull, and said, "I'll go out for a walk." Leng Qingqiu made no response, and Yanxi left. He wandered aimlessly and found himself in the alley of the old Leng Residence. The gate was tightly shut, its door knockers covered in green rust. Weeds swayed in the wind atop the walls. It was a scene of desolation, where the person was gone but the place remained, all the former glory vanished. Yanxi stood before the gate for a long time, thinking of how lively it had once been and how desolate it now was. Life was truly a grand dream. From there, his thoughts turned to himself-how he had once squandered wealth like dirt, and how he had now fallen to such a state. It was too painful to look back.
The more he thought, the more troubled he became. He languidly walked home. As he reached the entrance, Jin Rong came out to meet him and whispered, "Seventh Master, Miss Bai called. She asked you to come over." Yanxi asked, "Did she say anything?" Jin Rong replied, "She only said there's something important to discuss." Yanxi thought for a moment and said, "All right, I'll go." He then turned back toward the Bai residence.
When he arrived at the Bai residence, Xiuzhu was waiting in the small study. She smiled upon seeing Yanxi enter and said, "You've come just in time. There's something I need to discuss with you." Yanxi asked, "What is it?" Xiuzhu said, "Regarding going abroad, I've spoken with my brother. He's arranging a passport for you. But there's one thing: you'll need some cost for the trip. How do you plan to handle that?" Yanxi said, "I have no funds left. I'm just living day by day now." Xiuzhu said, "Then what should we do? Should my brother cover the expenses for you?"
Yanxi flushed at these words and said, "If I can't raise the money, I'll have to give up the idea." Seeing him so earnest, Xiuzhu laughed and said, "I was just teasing. The funds aren't a problem. My brother has agreed to help you with that. But I must ask: if you go, do you plan to return?" Yanxi said, "Once I leave, I naturally intend to find some career abroad. Whether I'll return or not is hard to say now." Xiuzhu said, "That's not right. Do you mean to never come back? For instance, if you succeed abroad, how will you arrange things for your family here?"
Yanxi said, "I can't worry about all that now. I'll just take things as they come." Xiuzhu said, "You're being foolish. Think about it: if you leave, who will take care of your wife and two children?" Yanxi replied, "I'll make some arrangements, of course." Xiuzhu said, "What arrangements? In my opinion, you should talk to your wife openly, give her a sum of money, and let her live on her own. If you want to take the children with you, do so. If not, leave them with your brothers. That way, you'll be free and unburdened, able to do as you please."
Yanxi said, "That... I'm afraid I can't do that." Xiuzhu said, "Why not? If you're afraid of hurting feelings, you'll never gain your freedom." Yanxi said, "Let me think it over." Xiuzhu insisted, "What is there to think over? Cut the knot with a swift stroke. If you want to act, do it decisively. If you hesitate, it will never happen." Seeing Xiuzhu so enthusiastic, Yanxi felt her approach was somewhat cruel, but considering his future prospects, he had no choice but to yield. He said, "All right, I'll do as you say."
Yanxi had dinner at Xiuzhu's house before returning. Upon entering, he saw Leng Qingqiu with their two children, watching the moon in the courtyard. The children rushed over when they saw Yanxi. He held one in each arm and asked, "Have you eaten?" The elder one said, "Yes, Mother was waiting for you to come back." Leng Qingqiu approached and said, "You haven't eaten, have you? I'll have them prepare something." Yanxi said, "I've eaten outside." He then led the children by hand into the room.
Leng Qingqiu said, "You seem quite busy these days." Yanxi replied, "Just some social engagements." Leng Qingqiu said, "Even social engagements should have limits." Yanxi said, "I know that." He spoke in a very low voice, as if afraid to raise it. Leng Qingqiu said, "As long as you know, I needn't say more."
Yanxi sat for a while. The children pestered him for a story, but with his mind preoccupied, how could he tell one? He managed a few敷衍 words and then had the maid take the children to bed. Alone in the room with Leng Qingqiu, she said, "You seem to have something on your mind." Yanxi said, "What could it be?" Leng Qingqiu said, "You can't hide it from me. I can tell from your expression." Yanxi said, "You're overthinking. I'm just troubled by family matters."
Leng Qingqiu sighed and said, "Even if you don't say it, I can guess. You feel this family is a burden now, wishing you could shake it off at once, am I right?" Hearing this, Yanxi's heart skipped a beat. He said, "What are you talking about? When have I ever thought that?" Leng Qingqiu said, "You may not have said it, but everything about your demeanor shows it. In truth, you needn't worry. I won't be a burden to you. If you feel uncomfortable staying at home, just go your own way. I won't hold you back."
Yanxi said, "You're going too far. Why would I leave?" Leng Qingqiu said, "Only you know that. I'm just stating it plainly to spare you difficulty." Yanxi was somewhat displeased by Leng Qingqiu's sarcasm, but upon reflection, since he did intend to leave, her frankness was a relief. He said, "Since you understand my thoughts, I won't hide it from you. My current circumstances make it impossible to stay at home. I plan to try my luck elsewhere."
Leng Qingqiu asked, "Where will you go?" Yanxi said, "I want to go abroad." Leng Qingqiu said, "Very well. A man should have ambitions far and wide. I won't stop you. But you'll need some cost for the trip. Where will you get the funds?" Yanxi said, "I have my ways." Leng Qingqiu said, "Are you still seeking help from Xiuzhu?" Yanxi admitted, "I have no choice but to rely on her assistance now."
Leng Qingqiu felt a pang of sorrow upon hearing this. Tears nearly welled up, but she restrained them and forced a smile. "That's even better. With her help, you're sure to succeed. When do you plan to leave?" Yanxi said, "Probably in a few days." Leng Qingqiu asked, "What about the two children? How will you arrange for them?" Yanxi said, "I was just about to discuss that with you. I thought of taking them south to be cared for by their maternal grandmother. What do you think?"
Leng Qingqiu said, "That's unnecessary. Though life may be harder with me, having their mother nearby is better than being with outsiders. Since you're going far away, why burden yourself with the children? Don't worry. I may not be capable, but I can still raise two children on my own." Yanxi said, "If you're willing to keep them, that's naturally better. But once I leave, I may not be able to support you regularly. Your livelihood..." Leng Qingqiu said, "You needn't concern yourself with that. I won't starve to death. Even if I do, it's my fate. I won't let it trouble you."
Yanxi had nothing more to say upon hearing this. After sitting for a while, he said, "In that case, I'll be leaving in a couple of days. I leave all family matters to you." Leng Qingqiu said, "Go in peace. I'll do my best to manage things here." Yanxi felt guilty for Leng Qingqiu's understanding, but thinking of his future, he hardened his heart and said no more.
Two days later, Yanxi had his luggage prepared and went to bid farewell to Mrs. Jin. She was ill in bed. Seeing him about to leave, she said, "If you insist on going, I can't keep you. But remember: your father toiled all his life to leave behind this legacy. You brothers must live in harmony and not disgrace your father's name." Yanxi said, "Don't worry, Mother. I won't act recklessly." Mrs. Jin said, "After you leave, write often so we won't worry." Yanxi assented with several "yeses" and withdrew.
He then went to bid farewell to each household, receiving敷衍 remarks from all. Finally, he returned to his own room, where Leng Qingqiu stood at the door with their two children. Yanxi said, "I'm leaving. Take good care of yourselves." Leng Qingqiu said, "Take care on your journey." The children seemed to sense their father's distant departure and clung to his clothing, unwilling to let go. Yanxi felt a pang of sorrow, nearly shedding tears. But he thought, since things had come to this, what was there to linger for? Steeling his heart, he picked up his leather bag and strode out the door.
Leng Qingqiu stood at the door, gazing at Yanxi's retreating figure in a daze for a while. Then she sighed, took the children by the hand, and slowly walked back into the room. The room felt hollow. Nothing had been moved, but all the items Yanxi commonly used were gone. On the table lay a letter. Leng Qingqiu picked it up and saw it was from Yanxi, left for her. It read:
"Leng Qingqiu: I am leaving. Please forgive me. It is not that I do not love you and the children, but circumstances force me to go. I may be away for three to five years, or perhaps eight to ten, but I believe I will return one day. I have left some money in the bank. The passbook is in the drawer. Use it as you need. The children will require your care. If I achieve success in my endeavors, I will repay you in the future. Yanxi's note."
Leng Qingqiu read the letter over and over, overcome with sorrow. Tears rolled down like broken Pearls. The children saw their mother crying and burst into wails. Leng Qingqiu hugged them both and said, "Don't cry, children. Though Father is gone, Mother is here." Though she comforted them thus, her own tears would not cease.
From that day on, Leng Qingqiu lived frugally with her two children. Though Yanxi had left some money, she knew that sitting idle would exhaust it. She took on needlework to barely sustain their livelihood. The Jin Family members were aware of her hardship, but each was preoccupied with their own troubles. Who could spare care for her? Thus, Leng Qingqiu's days grew格外艰难.
Meanwhile, after Yanxi's departure, Mrs. Jin's illness worsened. She had been strong-willed all her life, but now, witnessing the family scattered and past glories vanished, how could she not grieve? Her condition deteriorated day by day. By autumn, she passed away. On her deathbed, she called Feng Ju and Peng Zhen to her side, exhorting them to live in harmony and preserve the family estate. But by then, who would heed her words? With Mrs. Jin's death, the household fell into even greater disarray.
Now, the Jin Family was left with only an empty house and a few old servants. The scene was one of such desolation that it pained the heart to describe. As the ancients said well: "The swallows that once graced the halls of Wang and Xie now fly into the homes of common folk." The former splendor of the Jin Family could only remain as a topic for later generations to discuss.