明天 (Tomorrow)

"Not a sound-what's wrong with the little one?"

Holding up a bowl of yellow wine, Red-nosed Old Gong spoke these words, puckering his lips toward the neighboring wall. Blue-skinned Ah Wu set down his wine bowl and gave the old man's back a mighty slap, mumbling as he did so:

"You... you, you're letting your thoughts wander again...."

Now, Luzhen was a quiet, out-of-the-way place where old customs still held sway. Before the first watch of the night, everyone had closed their doors and gone to sleep. Only two households remained awake in the dead of night: one was the Xianheng Tavern, where a few boon companions stood around the counter, drinking and eating merrily; the other was the neighboring Widow Shan Si. Since being widowed the year before last, she had to rely solely on her own two hands to spin cotton yarn to support herself and her three-year-old son, and so she too retired late.

For the past few nights, there had indeed been no sound of spinning. But since only two households were still awake at such hours, it was naturally Old Gong and his like who heard the sounds from Widow Shan Si's home-just as it was they who heard the absence of them.

Old Gong, having been slapped, seemed to find the sensation agreeable. He took a large mouthful of wine and began to hum a ditty.

At this moment, Widow Shan Si sat on the edge of her bed, holding her Bao'er, the spinning wheel standing silent on the ground. The gloomy lamplight shone on Bao'er's face, which was flushed crimson with a tinge of blue. Widow Shan Si calculated in her heart: she had already sought a divination slip, made a vow to the gods, and tried folk remedies. If these still showed no effect, what could she do?-There was only Doctor He Xiaoxian left. But perhaps Bao'er's condition was lighter by day and heavier by night; come tomorrow, when the sun rose, the fever might recede and the wheezing might calm down. Such things were truly common among the sick.

Widow Shan Si was a simple woman who did not understand the terrible power of the word "but." While many bad things are fortunately turned around by it, many good things are also ruined because of it. Summer nights are short. Not long after Old Gong and his friend had finished their droning song, the east began to pale. Soon, a silvery dawn light seeped through the cracks in the window.

For Widow Shan Si, waiting for the dawn was not as easy as it was for others; it felt excruciatingly slow. Each of Bao'er's breaths seemed longer than a year. Now, at last, it was bright. The brightness of the day overpowered the lamplight-and she could see Bao'er's nostrils already flaring with each labored breath.

Widow Shan Si knew things were bad. She silently cried, "Oh heavens!" and reckoned in her heart: What could she do? The only way was to go to Doctor He Xiaoxian. Though a simple woman, she had resolve. She rose, took from the wooden chest the thirteen small silver dollars and one hundred and eighty coppers she had saved penny by penny each day, stuffed them all into her pocket, locked the door, and, hugging Bao'er, rushed straight to the He house.

It was still early, yet four patients were already seated in the He house. She produced four corner silver dollars, purchased a number slip, and soon it was Bao'er's turn, the fifth. He Xiaoxian extended two fingers to feel the pulse; his fingernails were over four inches long. Widow Shan Si marvelled inwardly, thinking: Bao'er must have a chance at life now. But she could not help feeling anxious and, unable to restrain herself, asked haltingly:-

"Doctor,-what is my Bao'er's illness?"

"He has Middle Burner Blockage."

"Is it serious? He..."

"Take two doses first."

"He can't breathe properly; his nostrils are flaring."

"That is Fire Overcomes Metal..."

He Xiaoxian spoke only half a sentence before closing his eyes. Widow Shan Si felt it improper to ask further. A man in his thirties sitting opposite Doctor He, who had by now finished writing a prescription, pointed to a few characters in the corner of the paper and said:-

"This first ingredient, Infant Life-Saving Pill, is only available at the Jia Family's World-Saving Old Shop!"

Widow Shan Si took the prescription and began to walk home, thinking as she went. Though a simple woman, she knew that the He house, the World-Saving Old Shop, and her own home formed a triangle; naturally, it would be cheaper to buy the medicine and then return. So she rushed directly towards the World-Saving Old Shop. The shop assistant, his long fingernails also raised, slowly read the prescription and slowly wrapped the medicine. Widow Shan Si held Bao'er and waited. Suddenly, Bao'er lifted a tiny hand and tugged with all his might at a loose strand of her disheveled hair-a thing he had never done before. Widow Shan Si was terrified into a daze.

The sun had long been up. Widow Shan Si, carrying the child and the medicine package, felt the burden grow heavier with each step. The child struggled incessantly, and the road seemed to grow longer. Helpless, she sat down on the doorstep of a large house by the roadside to rest for a while. Feeling her clothes gradually chilling against her skin, she realized she had broken into a sweat; Bao'er seemed to have fallen asleep. Getting up to walk slowly again, she still found it hard to keep going, when suddenly she heard a voice by her ear saying:-

"Widow Shan Si, let me carry the little one for you!" It seemed to be the voice of Blue-skinned Ah Wu.

She looked up. It was indeed Blue-skinned Ah Wu, bleary-eyed, following her.

At this moment, although Widow Shan Si dearly wished for a heavenly general to descend and lend her a hand, she did not wish it to be Ah Wu. But Ah Wu had a chivalrous streak; no matter what, he was determined to help. After some polite refusals, he finally gained permission. He then stretched out his arm right between Widow Shan Si's breast and the child, and lifted the boy away. Widow Shan Si immediately felt a heat flush across her breast, rising instantly to her face and the roots of her ears.

They walked on together, more than two and a half feet apart. Ah Wu chatted, but Widow Shan Si answered little. They had not gone far when Ah Wu returned the child to her, saying the time for a meal appointment with a friend from yesterday had arrived. Widow Shan Si took back the child. Fortunately, home was not far now. She soon saw Auntie Wang Jiu from across the way sitting by the roadside, who called out from a distance:-

"Widow Shan Si, what's wrong with the child?-Have you seen the doctor?"

"I've seen him.-Auntie Wang Jiu, you have age and experience. Would you please take a look with your experienced eye and tell me how..."

"Hmm..."

"How...?"

"Hmm..." Auntie Wang Jiu scrutinized the child for a while, nodded her head twice, and shook it twice.

By the time Bao'er took the medicine, it was already past noon. Widow Shan Si watched his expression intently; he seemed somewhat calmer. In the afternoon, he suddenly opened his eyes and called out, "Mama!" then closed them again as if going back to sleep. After sleeping a while, beads of sweat broke out on his forehead and the tip of his nose. Widow Shan Si gently touched them-they were sticky like glue to her hand. In a panic, she felt his chest, and could not help but begin to sob.

As Bao'er's breathing changed from calm to nothing, Widow Shan Si's voice also changed from sobs to wails. Now several groups of people gathered: inside the door were Auntie Wang Jiu, Blue-skinned Ah Wu, and their like; outside were the proprietor of the Xianheng and Red-nosed Old Gong, and their like. Auntie Wang Jiu then gave orders: a string of spirit money was burned; using two benches and five articles of clothing as security, she borrowed two silver dollars for Widow Shan Si to provide a meal for the helpers.

The first problem was the coffin. Widow Shan Si still had a pair of silver earrings and a gold-wrapped silver hairpin, which she gave to the proprietor of the Xianheng, asking him to act as guarantor to buy a coffin, half for cash and half on credit. Blue-skinned Ah Wu also stretched out his hand, quite willing to volunteer; but Auntie Wang Jiu would not allow it, permitting him only the duty of carrying the coffin the next day. Ah Wu cursed, "Old beast!" and stood there sullenly, lips pouted. The proprietor left on his own; returning in the evening, he said the coffin had to be made to order and would only be ready late in the night.

When the proprietor returned, the helpers had long since eaten; because Luzhen still observed some old customs, everyone went home to sleep before the first watch. Only Ah Wu still leaned against the Xianheng's counter drinking, and Old Gong was still humming his tune.

Now, Widow Shan Si sat on the edge of the bed weeping, Bao'er lay on the bed, and the spinning wheel stood silent on the ground. After a long while, Widow Shan Si's tears seemed to be exhausted. Her eyes wide open, she looked around and found everything strange: all of this could not be happening. She reasoned in her heart: It's just a dream, all these things are a dream. Tomorrow, when I wake up, I'll be sleeping peacefully in my bed, and Bao'er will be sleeping soundly right beside me. He'll wake up too, call out "Mama," and leap about to play, full of life and vigor.

Old Gong's song had long since fallen silent, and the Xianheng had also extinguished its lights. Widow Shan Si stared with wide eyes, refusing to believe it all.-A rooster crowed; the east gradually paled, and a silvery dawn light seeped through the cracks in the window.

The silvery dawn light gradually took on a crimson hue as sunlight followed to shine upon the roof ridge. Widow Shan Si sat dazedly, eyes wide open, until a knocking at the door startled her. She ran to open it. Outside stood an unfamiliar man carrying something on his back; behind him stood Auntie Wang Jiu.

Ah, they had brought the coffin.

It was past midday before the coffin lid was finally closed. Because Widow Shan Si would weep a while, look a while, and could not bring herself to have the lid firmly shut. Fortunately, Auntie Wang Jiu, grown impatient, indignantly rushed forward, dragged her aside with one pull, and only then was the lid hastily put on by many hands.

But truly, Widow Shan Si had done all she could for her Bao'er, leaving nothing wanting. Yesterday she had burned a string of spirit money; this morning she burned forty-nine volumes of the 'Great Compassion Mantra.' When he was laid in the coffin, she dressed him in his newest clothes and placed by his pillow the toys he loved in life-a clay figurine, two small wooden bowls, and two glass bottles. Later, Auntie Wang Jiu pinched her fingers, pondering carefully, but could finally think of nothing that was lacking.

That day, Blue-skinned Ah Wu simply did not show up at all. The proprietor of the Xianheng hired two bearers for Widow Shan Si, at two hundred and ten large coppers each, to carry the coffin to the paupers' cemetery for burial. Auntie Wang Jiu also helped her cook rice, and everyone who had lifted a hand or opened their mouth ate. The sun gradually took on the color of setting; those who had eaten also unconsciously began to show the look of wanting to go home-and so they all finally went home.

Widow Shan Si felt very dizzy. After resting a while, she actually felt somewhat steady. But then she immediately began to feel something very strange: she had encountered something she had never experienced in her life, something that seemed impossible, yet had undeniably appeared. The more she thought, the stranger it seemed, and she became aware of another odd thing:-the room was suddenly far too quiet.

She stood up, lit the lamp, and the room seemed even quieter. Dazedly, she went to close the door, returned to sit on the edge of the bed; the spinning wheel stood silent on the ground. Collecting herself, she looked all around and felt even more that she could neither sit nor stand. The room was not only too quiet but also too big, and everything in it too empty. The overlarge room surrounded her on all sides; the over-empty things pressed upon her from all sides, leaving her breathless.

She knew now that her Bao'er was indeed dead. Unwilling to face the room, she blew out the lamp and lay down. Crying and thinking, she thought of those times when she spun cotton yarn and Bao'er sat beside her eating Aniseed Beans. Staring with his little black eyes for a moment, he would say, "Mama! Papa sells wonton; when I grow up, I'll sell wonton too, and make lots and lots of money-I'll give it all to you." In those days, even the spun yarn seemed full of meaning, every inch alive. But what about now? As for the present, Widow Shan Si could really think of nothing.-As I said before: she was a simple woman. What could she think of? She only felt the room was too quiet, too big, too empty.

But though Widow Shan Si was simple, she knew that a return from the dead could not happen, and that her Bao'er truly could not be seen again. Sighing, she said to herself, "Bao'er, you should still be here. Let me see you in a dream." So she closed her eyes, wanting to fall asleep quickly to meet her Bao'er. Her own labored breathing passed through the stillness, the vastness, and the emptiness, and she heard it clearly.

Widow Shan Si finally drifted hazily into slumber; the whole room was very quiet. By now, Red-nosed Old Gong's ditty was long finished. Staggering out of the Xianheng, he raised his voice to a sharp pitch and sang:-

"O my sweetheart!-Poor you,-all alone..."

Blue-skinned Ah Wu then reached out and grabbed Old Gong by the shoulder, and the two of them, laughing and shoving each other, stumbled away together.

Widow Shan Si was already asleep, Old Gong and his friend had gone, and the Xianheng had closed its door. At this moment, Luzhen sank completely into silence. Only the dark night, yearning to become tomorrow, still rushed about within this silence; also, several dogs hid in the shadows, howling softly.