明天 (Tomorrow)

No sound-what’s wrong with the little one?

Red-nosed Old Gong held up a bowl of yellow wine and said, tilting his chin toward the next room. Blue-skinned Ah Wu put down his wine bowl and slapped him hard on the back, mumbling:

"You... you, you're brooding again..."

In fact, Luzhen was a quiet place with some old customs: before the first watch, everyone would close their doors and sleep. Only two households were awake late at night: one was Xianheng Tavern, where a few drinking buddies gathered around the counter, eating and drinking merrily; the other was the next-door Widow Shan Si, who, since becoming a widow two years ago, had relied solely on her own hands spinning cotton yarn to support herself and her three-year-old son, so she slept late.

These past few days, there had indeed been no sound of spinning. But since only two households were awake late at night, any sound from Widow Shan Si's house would naturally be heard only by Old Gong and his friends, and the absence of sound would also be heard only by them.

Old Gong, after being slapped, seemed to enjoy it and took a big gulp of wine, then began humming a tune.

At this moment, Widow Shan Si was holding her Bao'er, sitting on the edge of the bed, with the spinning wheel standing quietly on the ground. The dim lamplight shone on Bao'er's face, rosy with a hint of blue. Widow Shan Si calculated in her heart: she had sought divine lots, made vows, and taken folk prescriptions; if there was still no improvement, what could she do?-Only to consult He Xiaoxian. But perhaps Bao'er's condition was lighter by day and heavier by night; by tomorrow, when the sun rose, the fever might subside and the wheezing calm: such things often happened with the sick.

Widow Shan Si was a simple woman who did not understand the dreadfulness of the word "but": many bad things indeed turned better thanks to it, but many good things were also ruined because of it. Summer nights were short; not long after Old Gong and his friends finished their humming, the east began to pale; soon, silver dawn light seeped through the window cracks.

For Widow Shan Si, waiting for dawn was not as easy as for others; it felt extremely slow, each breath of Bao'er's almost longer than a year. Now it was finally bright; the brightness of the sky overpowered the lamplight-she could see Bao'er's nostrils flaring in and out.

Widow Shan Si knew something was wrong and silently exclaimed, "Aiya!" She calculated in her heart: what to do? Only the path of consulting He Xiaoxian remained. Although she was a simple woman, she had determination. She stood up, took out thirteen small silver coins and one hundred and eighty copper coins saved daily from the wooden cabinet, put them in her pocket, locked the door, and holding Bao'er, hurried straight to the He family.

It was still early, but four patients were already sitting in the He household. She took out four silver coins, bought a number tag, and soon it was Bao'er's turn, the fifth. He Xiaoxian extended two fingers to feel the pulse, his nails over four inches long. Widow Shan Si secretly marveled, calculating in her heart: Bao'er should have a chance to live. But she couldn't help feeling anxious and couldn't resist asking, so she said haltingly:-

"Doctor-what illness does my Bao'er have?"

"He has Middle Burner Blockage."

"Is it serious? He..."

"Take two doses first."

"He can't breathe, his nostrils are flaring."

"This is Fire Overcomes Metal..."

He Xiaoxian spoke half a sentence, then closed his eyes; Widow Shan Si felt it inappropriate to ask further. A man in his thirties sitting opposite He Xiaoxian had already written out a prescription and, pointing to a few characters in the corner of the paper, said:-

"This first ingredient, Infant Life-Saving Pill, must be obtained from Jia Family's World-Saving Old Shop!"

Widow Shan Si took the prescription, walking and thinking. Though a simple woman, she knew that the He family, the World-Saving Old Shop, and her own home formed a triangle; naturally, it was cheaper to buy the medicine and go back. So she hurried straight to the World-Saving Old Shop. The shop assistant, with long nails, slowly examined the prescription and slowly wrapped the medicine. Widow Shan Si held Bao'er and waited; suddenly, Bao'er raised a small hand and tugged hard at a strand of her disheveled hair, an act never seen before, which frightened Widow Shan Si into a daze.

The sun had long risen. Widow Shan Si, holding the child and carrying the medicine package, felt heavier with each step; the child struggled incessantly, and the road seemed longer. Helpless, she sat on the threshold of a mansion by the roadside to rest for a while. Her clothes gradually chilled against her skin, and she realized she had broken into a sweat; Bao'er seemed to have fallen asleep. She got up again and walked slowly, still unable to support herself, when suddenly she heard someone say from nearby:-

"Widow Shan Si, let me carry the child for you!" It seemed to be Blue-skinned Ah Wu's voice.

She looked up; it was indeed Blue-skinned Ah Wu, following her with sleepy eyes.

At this moment, Widow Shan Si wished for a heavenly general to descend and lend a hand, but she didn't want it to be Ah Wu. However, Ah Wu had a chivalrous spirit and insisted on helping no matter what. After some polite refusal, she finally permitted him. He stretched out his arms, reaching between Widow Shan Si's breasts and the child, and took the child. Widow Shan Si then felt a heat on her breasts, instantly spreading to her face and ears.

They walked together, about two and a half feet apart. Ah Wu said some things, but Widow Shan Si mostly didn't respond. After not walking long, Ah Wu returned the child to her, saying he had an appointment to eat with friends yesterday; Widow Shan Si took the child. Fortunately, home was not far; she soon saw Auntie Wang Jiu sitting by the street across the way, speaking from a distance:-

"Widow Shan Si, how is the child?-Have you seen the doctor?"

"I've seen him.-Auntie Wang Jiu, you're experienced, you've seen much; why don't you take a look with your discerning eyes, how..."

"Hmm..."

"How...?"

"Hmm..." Auntie Wang Jiu scrutinized for a while, nodded twice, and shook her head twice.

Bao'er took the medicine; it was already afternoon. Widow Shan Si watched his expression carefully; he seemed much calmer. In the afternoon, he suddenly opened his eyes and called, "Mom!" then closed them again as if sleeping. He slept for a while, beads of sweat oozing from his forehead and nose tip. Widow Shan Si gently touched them; they stuck to her hand like glue. She hurriedly felt his chest, then couldn't help but sob.

Bao'er's breathing changed from steady to nothing, and Widow Shan Si's sobs turned into wails. Now several groups gathered: inside the door were Auntie Wang Jiu, Blue-skinned Ah Wu, and the like; outside were the manager of Xianheng and Red-nosed Old Gong, and the like. Auntie Wang Jiu gave orders: burned a string of paper money; then, using two benches and five pieces of clothing as collateral, borrowed two silver dollars for Widow Shan Si to prepare a meal for the helpers.

The first problem was the coffin. Widow Shan Si still had a pair of silver earrings and a gold-wrapped silver hairpin, which she gave to the manager of Xianheng, entrusting him as guarantor to buy a coffin half cash and half credit. Blue-skinned Ah Wu also stretched out his hand, willing to volunteer; but Auntie Wang Jiu didn't allow him, only permitting him the task of carrying the coffin tomorrow. Ah Wu cursed, "Old beast," and pouted sullenly as he stood. The manager left; returning in the evening, he said the coffin had to be made to order and would be ready late at night.

When the manager returned, the helpers had already eaten; because Luzhen still had old customs, before the first watch, they all went home to sleep. Only Ah Wu was still drinking at Xianheng's counter, and Old Gong was humming.

At this time, Widow Shan Si sat on the edge of the bed crying, Bao'er lay on the bed, and the spinning wheel stood quietly on the ground. After a long while, Widow Shan Si's tears ran dry, her eyes wide open, looking around, feeling strange: all this couldn't be real. She calculated in her heart: it must be a dream, all these things are a dream. Tomorrow when she wakes up, she'll be sleeping soundly in bed, and Bao'er will be sleeping well beside her. He'll wake up too, call "Mom," and jump up to play, full of life.

Old Gong's singing had long ceased, and Xianheng had extinguished its lights. Widow Shan Si stared, refusing to believe all that had happened.-The rooster crowed; the east gradually paled, and silver dawn light seeped through the window cracks.

The silver dawn gradually turned rosy, and sunlight followed, shining on the roof ridge. Widow Shan Si stared, sitting dully; hearing a knock at the door, she startled, ran to open it. Outside was an unfamiliar man carrying something on his back; behind him stood Auntie Wang Jiu.

Oh, they've brought the coffin.

In the latter half of the day, the coffin lid was finally closed: because Widow Shan Si cried and looked, unwilling to resign herself to closing it; fortunately, Auntie Wang Jiu grew impatient, angrily stepped forward, dragged her away, and they hastily closed the lid.

But Widow Shan Si had indeed done her utmost for her Bao'er, with no shortcomings left. Yesterday, a string of paper money was burned; in the morning, forty-nine volumes of the "Great Compassion Mantra" were burned; when laying him out, she dressed him in his newest clothes, and placed his favorite toys-a clay figurine, two small wooden bowls, two glass bottles-beside his pillow. Later, Auntie Wang Jiu counted on her fingers and pondered carefully but could think of no shortcomings.

On this day, Blue-skinned Ah Wu didn't show up at all; the manager of Xianheng hired two bearers for Widow Shan Si, each paid two hundred and ten big coins, to carry the coffin to the charity graveyard for burial. Auntie Wang Jiu also helped her cook rice, and everyone who had lifted a hand or opened their mouth ate. The sun gradually showed signs of setting; those who had eaten also unconsciously showed signs of wanting to go home-so they all finally went home.

Widow Shan Si felt very dizzy; after resting a while, she actually felt somewhat steady. But then she felt something very strange: she had encountered something never experienced before, something that shouldn't happen, yet it had indeed occurred. The more she thought, the odder it seemed, and she felt another strange thing:-this room suddenly felt too quiet.

She stood up, lit the lamp, and the room seemed even quieter. She drowsily went to close the door, returned to sit on the edge of the bed, with the spinning wheel standing quietly on the ground. She composed herself, looked around, and felt even more unable to sit or stand; the room was not only too quiet but also too big, and things too empty. The too-large room surrounded her on all sides, the too-empty things pressed on her from all sides, making it hard to breathe.

She now knew her Bao'er was indeed dead; not wanting to see this room, she blew out the lamp and lay down. She cried and thought: back then, when she was spinning cotton yarn, Bao'er sat beside her eating Aniseed Beans, staring with his small black eyes, thought for a moment, and said, "Mom! Dad sells wontons; when I grow up, I'll sell wontons too, earn lots and lots of money-I'll give it all to you." Back then, even the spun yarn seemed meaningful inch by inch, alive inch by inch. But now what? Now, Widow Shan Si truly couldn't think of anything.-As I've said before: she was a simple woman. What could she think? She only felt this room was too quiet, too big, too empty.

But although Widow Shan Si was simple, she knew that resurrection was impossible, and her Bao'er could indeed not be seen again. She sighed and said to herself, "Bao'er, you should still be here; let me see you in my dreams." So she closed her eyes, wanting to fall asleep quickly to meet her Bao'er, her labored breathing passing through the stillness, bigness, and emptiness, clearly audible to herself.

Widow Shan Si finally drifted朦胧 into sleep, the whole room very quiet. Now Red-nosed Old Gong's tune had long been finished; staggering out of Xianheng, he raised his voice and sang:-

"My darling!-poor you,-so all alone..."

Blue-skinned Ah Wu reached out and grabbed Old Gong's shoulder, and the two, laughing and jostling, staggered away.

Widow Shan Si was already asleep, Old Gong and his friends were gone, and Xianheng had closed its doors. Now Luzhen was completely enveloped in silence. Only the dark night, wanting to become tomorrow, still bustled within this silence; a few dogs also hid in the darkness, howling.

June 1920