Explore Chapter 15 of "八十一梦 五子登科" with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
I heard an old hoarse voice cursing outside the window: "You little monkeys, what kind of celebration is this? The New Year has been over for days, and you're still setting off thunderclap firecrackers and double-kick fireworks. What's so enjoyable about this New Year? Shandong province is plagued by bandits, Zhili by locusts, the Yellow River by floods, and coal and flour have all gone up in price. In this compound, apart from Mr. Zhang, no one is an official. Where do you get so much easy money? Even after the fifth and sixth of the first lunar month, you still let the children celebrate the New Year?"
Those last few words I heard after waking up. At that time, I was working as a minor clerk in the Ministry of Agriculture and Commerce in Beijing, a small official after all. Opening my eyes, I saw the wall calendar hanging on the wall, with large characters reading "Republic of China, Year 8, Gregorian February, Lunar First Month." When that bearded neighbor selling rice cake in the compound was cursing so heartily, it was already time for me to go to the ministry. Why was I still sleeping? So I hurriedly got up, used the overnight kettle on the white clay stove to pour water for washing my face and rinsing my mouth. I put on a knitted cap, wrapped an old felt scarf around my neck, locked the door, and left.
As a minor clerk, I could never afford an overcoat. Beijing was cold, and there was no other way to dress. Stepping out, the snow in this remote alley was still piled a foot deep. My feet crunched on the snow as I walked. The northwest wind cut like a knife, blowing the snow off the rooftops, swirling it into a white mist and then hurling it at people. Even though I had wrapped myself in a felt scarf, the fine snow still sneaked into my collar. Although I was wearing an old sheepskin coat bought from Tianqiao market, I couldn't help shivering a couple of times. The breath from my nose passed through the holes of my cap, rising like steam from a steamer basket. The brim of the cap around my nostrils was moistened by my breath. I thought to myself, all this for a salary of thirty dollars-braving such wind and snow to go to work was truly hard.
Just as I was thinking, a car caught up from behind, splashing the muddy snow on the ground. On both sides of the car, two rows of muddy rain flew up, covering me with mud spots. What could I do after the car passed? Through the rear window, I saw a man and a woman hugging each other, their heads pressed together. The license plate was private 606. What a coincidence-that was the car our Minister used for work. Needless to say, the man in the car was my superior, Minister Lai Dayuan. Not to mention that as a pedestrian I couldn't catch up to argue; even if I could, would I dare to dispute with the Minister? I sighed and had to walk close to the walls of the houses, slowly making my way to the ministry.
Our Ministry of Agriculture and Commerce was notorious in Beijing as a leisurely government office. The two guards at the gate were clutching old Lee-Enfield rifles under their arms, so cold they could only march in place. I glanced at the reception room; the receptionist was huddled over a white stove in the corridor. On his windowsill sat a small alarm clock, already indicating ten o'clock. In the courtyard, there was nothing but snow everywhere. The branches of the flowers and trees poked out from the snowdrifts, also covered with snow. Under the high eaves, there was not a sound. On the corridor floor, a dozen little sparrows, when they saw a person coming, flew up to the eaves with a flutter. This didn't look like a government office; it looked more like a temple.
I was a clerk in the First Section of the Mining Bureau. I had to walk all the way to the fifth courtyard in the eastern corner before reaching our office. The five large rooms in the north were the Director's office. The west rooms were the First Section. The Section Chief sat in the outer room, with several section members at their desks. Another clerk, three copyists, and I were squeezed into a small room. The Mining Bureau had a special advantage: even though coal sold for over twenty yuan per ton on the market, we could still get the red coal from Datong and Shijiazhuang with special convenience. So every room had an iron stove burning. In those days, although there was no central heating like in the Beijing Hotel, having a "foreign stove" in the room was like heaven on earth.
Lifting the cotton cloth curtain and entering the room, I found it already filled with a spring-like warmth. I took off my hat and untied my scarf, then lifted the curtain into the First Section. On the iron stove sat a white iron kettle, its water bubbling with a hissing sound, steam puffing from the spout. The piled snow in the courtyard reflected light through the glass window.
Section Chief Tao Jupu was an old hand at official work. He always came early. At this moment, on his desk under the glass window, he had spread out a large-print woodblock edition of "Romance of the Three Kingdoms," wearing reading glasses, absorbed in reading. The attendant had already poured him a cup of good jasmine tea, steaming hot, placed before him. Although Section Chief Tao was old, the fire in the stove was too hot, so he had hung his fur robe and overcoat on the coat rack. He was wearing only an old Huzhou silk cotton robe that he kept in the office.
According to custom, junior clerks and copyists had to bow deeply to the Section Chief to offer New Year greetings. But I was a young man fresh out of school, unable to put on such flattery. Fortunately, it was the Lunar New Year, so I could perform the old ritual. Thus, holding my hat and scarf in both hands, I made several random bows and said repeatedly, "Section Chief, Happy New Year! Happy New Year!"
Section Chief Tao took off his glasses with both hands, nodded at me, and then went back to reading "Liu Bei's Three Visits to the Thatched Cottage."
Apart from the Section Chief, there was no one else in this room. The small room over there was our own territory. My colleagues had all arrived earlier than me. Two copyists were already transcribing official documents. Another copyist and a junior clerk were playing chess at a small table in the corner. As soon as I entered, these two colleagues, sensing a kindred spirit, stood up together and greeted me with cupped hands, saying Happy New Year.
I hung up my scarf and hat and asked the other clerk, Mr. Li, "Is there any official business to handle?"
As he spoke, his eyes were fixed on the chess game. His opponent had played a cannon across the river and a horse at the corner. He was figuring out how to counter this threat. So I stopped asking and sat down to watch the game.
A commotion arose in the next room. Several section members arrived, all bowing to Section Chief Tao. One of them, a second-class section member named Mr. Fan, was especially respectful. Wearing a jacket over his gown, with his sleeves hanging down, he stood before Section Chief Tao and said with a smile, "On the first day of the first lunar month, I went to your residence to pay New Year respects."
Section Chief Tao said, "Sorry I missed you. The children were clamoring to go to Changdian Temple Fair."
Section Member Fan said, "After that, I went to Director Shen's home. Director Shen was too kind, asking me to stay and watch his cards. He offered tea eggs and lard rice cakes, constantly serving snacks. I even gave him advice and quietly helped him win a triple."
Immediately the room became lively. A section member named Mr. Tong was the first to be unrestrained. He took the day's newspaper from the rack and put it on his desk, asking with a laugh, "Old Fan, have you been to Miss Eight's place? Hey! Tonight there's a great play, 'Stealing Cherries' and the first part of 'Haihui Temple.' Let's book a box and invite Miss Eight from her little house to come watch the opera. Then everyone can meet her."
Mr. Fan also took a newspaper and returned to his desk, looking at it and laughing. "Talking about Miss Eight, last year she almost couldn't get through the New Year. Old Ma is better-he practices free love, which is much more economical than us messing around in the alleys. He even writes letters as soon as he arrives at the ministry."
On the opposite desk, a second-class section member named Mr. Ma was placing a stack of official letter paper on his desk, pulling out a sheet and scribbling randomly. Actually, he wasn't writing a love letter; he was composing an 'opera review' to be submitted to a small newspaper for publication. The title was 'A Record of Watching Operas in the First Three Days of the New Spring."
While they were talking, a Mr. Hu entered. Everyone in the room greeted him with New Year wishes. He was a favorite of the Vice-Minister. Although he hadn't replaced Section Chief Tao, he could be considered a deputy section chief in this section. While taking off his fur coat, he asked, "Has the Section Chief not come yet?" Mr. Tong said, "The Section Chief came early but just went out."
Mr. Hu took a cigar from his pocket, bit off the tip, and put it in his mouth. Someone immediately struck a match to light it for him. He blew out a puff of smoke, then held the cigar between his fingers and raised it high, laughing. "Let me tell you all a very interesting thing: I've played poker for so many years and never had a straight flush. But this New Year, I finally got one."
Mr. Hu stood in the middle of the room, full of energy, laughing. "That's not all. The most interesting part was that one of the players had a flush of hearts, another had aces full house. These two gentlemen kept raising the bet, all the way to over a hundred yuan. I had to tell them, no need to fight anymore-flip the cards, I'm taking the pot and congratulations. Together with the winnings and the congratulations, I raked in nearly two hundred yuan from that one hand." As he spoke, he held the cigar in his mouth and clapped his hands repeatedly.
At that moment, Section Chief Tao came in. The other section members fell silent, but only this Mr. Hu, with his powerful background, didn't mind and continued talking and laughing in the middle of the room.
In our room, clearly there was a different class. Although they were laughing uproariously over there, we dared not respond with a single word. About ten minutes later, Mr. Fan, who had bowed ninety degrees to the Section Chief, came over to our side. We also offered him New Year greetings, some nodding, some cupping hands. Because his rank couldn't ultimately control our rice bowl, no one bowed ninety degrees to him. But he had nothing to ask of us either, so he just smiled and nodded his chin twice. I looked down on him a bit, so under the pretext of searching for documents in my drawer, I didn't greet him. As he passed in front of me, he gave me a vicious glare. But I had no obligation to greet him, so he went back to the other side.
At this time, several more section members arrived in the other room, and we also gained two more clerks. One of them was the Director's brother-in-law, only eighteen years old, who didn't come to the ministry even once a month. Today, perhaps because it was the first day after the Spring Festival holiday, he came to register his presence. The other was a cousin of the Vice-Minister, already over sixty years old. He came regularly, but when he came, he never did any work. The Section Chief had never assigned him any official business. However, he complained bitterly that his nephew, being the Vice-Minister, only gave him a menial post. He often cursed under his breath in his hometown dialect. Today, perhaps he had drunk too much New Year wine. His face had turned purplish-red, with white stubble protruding from the red skin, revealing a mouthful of long teeth. It was really not a pleasant sight.
In both rooms, over twenty officials of various ranks each sat at their positions. Some wrote letters on official letter paper, some read newspapers, some held cigarettes in their mouths while staring at the ceiling in a daze. Those sitting closer together drank the jasmine tea prepared by the ministry and softly discussed mahjong strategies. Among them, two more insightful ones used newspaper materials to discuss domestic current affairs. On our side, the two copyists had finished transcribing the assigned documents and went to the next room to present them to the Section Chief. Today, breaking the record, we emulated the section members in the next room and, having nothing to do, started chatting.
Immediately the atmosphere in both rooms became tense. This was a taste of what it was like to be a high official in Beijing. When one arrived at the yamen, the attendants would go to each department and section to shout. Upon hearing this, the Section Chief immediately took off his reading glasses, took his jacket from the coat rack, and put it on. The attendant from the outer room brought a hot towel and handed it to Section Chief Tao to wipe his face. He took the towel, casually rubbed his face a couple of times, opened his drawer, took out some official documents, and left, holding them in both hands. After the Section Chief left, the volume of conversation in our two rooms didn't rise as high as before, but Mr. Hu was still full of bravado, talking about his poker game.
About half an hour later, Section Chief Tao returned and nodded to everyone. "The big boss has left. He said there's not much urgent business these two days. This afternoon you can skip coming, and next week as usual."
Upon hearing this, everyone burst into a cheer of delight. The Section Chief took out his key from his pocket, locked his drawer. The attendant, knowing he was about to leave, immediately fetched his fur coat and draped it over him. Several outstanding section members, without even signaling each other, all went to put on their coats.
After the Section Chief left, Mr. Fan was the first to shout loudly, "Hey, how about eight rounds of mahjong this afternoon?"
The people in our room also left. Only I and a copyist named Li remained, and we started talking about family matters. This Li's family had five people, and his monthly salary at the ministry was only twenty yuan-definitely not enough to get by. Others had chicken, duck, fish, and meat for the New Year. But he, on New Year's Eve, had to run around the alleys until after ten o'clock just to borrow a few catties of flour. Not only was money tight and life too poor, but also because of his low status, he always had to watch other people's faces. He said if he could find a way out this year, fine; otherwise, he planned to abandon his family and run away alone, to avoid seeing his wife and children crying every day.
I felt truly sorry for him after hearing his story. But I was the same kind of low-level clerk, and aside from offering a few empty words of comfort, I couldn't help. Nevertheless, after we finished talking and parted, I kept feeling a knot in my heart that I couldn't untie. I was really worried that if he suddenly left, how would his family survive? Unexpectedly, that evening as I was eating dinner alone under the lamp, Li the copyist burst in joyfully, cupping his hands and saying, "Congratulations! Congratulations!"
I stood up to greet him, somewhat bewildered, thinking he was speaking sarcastically. I asked him to sit down, took a purple clay pot from beside the white stove, poured a cup of hot tea, placed it on the table, and said with a smile, "Have some tea to ward off the cold. In this corrupt government, being good means being a parasite on society; being bad inevitably means being a slave of a conquered nation in the twentieth century. Mr. Sun Yat-sen is organizing a revolutionary government in Guangdong. The future is full of hope. Let's go to Guangdong together. Breathing free air, even as a beggar, is far better than staying here."
Li the copyist laughed and said, "It's a long story. This matter is too delightful. It would be a pity to tell it here. Let's go to the lamb restaurant, eat and drink, warm by the stove. When we talk and get happy, we can have a few more cups. How often does one meet a joyful moment in life? Come on, don't miss the opportunity."
Hearing him speak so confidently, I indeed put away my bowl and went with him to the lamb restaurant.
We found a quiet private room in the restaurant and ordered wine and food. I couldn't wait for him to speak and pressed him again. Mr. Li, knowing I didn't drink, poured himself a cup of white liquor and downed it in one gulp. Then, pressing his hand on the cup, he smiled at me across the lamb hotpot and said, "People say our Minister is a 'scabby-headed turtle,' but his sons and daughters are all extremely fashionable civilized people. You know that his second son and eldest daughter are somewhat opera fans, right?"
I said, "I didn't know that. I only heard that his eldest son is good at holding multiple positions; he now has thirty-six concurrent jobs. From the State Council down to the Zhili Provincial Tax Bureau, he has his name on the rolls everywhere. The second son loves playing with cars; he owns three or four vehicles. The eldest daughter likes to travel to Tianjin and Shanghai. The second daughter can dance; they've hired a foreigner to teach her piano."
Mr. Li laughed and said, "Their family is rolling in money. They have everything they want. Can they be satisfied with just one thing?"
I saw the lamb hotpot steaming, the charcoal fire blazing, reflecting on Mr. Li's flushed face. I knew he was very happy, so I didn't stop him and let him continue. He picked up a piece of fat and lean lamb, swished it in the hotpot, looked at me and smiled. "Only today do I realize that having hobbies has its benefits. I've been playing the erhu for a full twenty years. In Beijing, erhu players are everywhere. I dare not claim to be good, but I can imitate anyone's style. At the end of last year, Vice-Minister Wu had a private party at his home. I went to accompany the opera 'Su San Under Escort.' Coincidentally, Miss Lai the second was there listening. She heard people say that the erhu player was a copyist from the Ministry of Agriculture and Commerce, and she remembered. Today, when I came out of the ministry, Secretary Cheng saw me on his carriage and took me to the Lai mansion. That young lady, originally not convenient to consult a lowly copyist, brought her second brother along and called me into the inner sitting room to ask questions. The second brother acted like an examiner, first giving me an oral test, then taking out an erhu and asking me to play two operas. The second daughter was originally sitting to the side supervising. After listening to the erhu for a while, her throat itched. I played another two operas for her. She had a few places where her phrasing was wrong, so I said, 'Second Miss sings very well this way; there is another way to sing it, like this.' Then I sang it for her. Both siblings were extremely happy and kept me there for two or three hours. Later, the second brother showed me a slip of paper-it was a note from the Minister, which read: 'Li Xingshi is hereby assigned to work in the secretariat.' It was the Minister's own handwriting; I recognized it. Moreover, the second brother handed the note to Secretary Cheng in my presence."
He laughed and said, "There's more. Second Miss was so pleased with my flattery that she went to the inner chamber, took out her purse, and casually pulled out five ten-yuan notes, saying it was for my cab fare. Good heavens! I've lived thirty years and never heard of needing so much money for a cab ride."
I said, "Friend, don't blame me for saying your eyesight is narrow. Once, when Miss Lai the second went to Shanghai for a classmate's wedding feast, she booked a special train connecting the Beining, Tianjin-Pukou, and Shanghai-Nanjing railways. If you had that fare, it would be enough to last you a lifetime."
Mr. Li laughed and said, "Even so, from my perspective, it's a novel experience. I've had a poor New Year, and I've been worrying about how to get through these days. This windfall is enough to make us happy for a few days." As he spoke, he was clearly delighted. With his right hand, he picked up lamb from the pot and sent it to his mouth; with his left hand, he raised his cup, waiting for his mouth to be free.
I said, "No need to drink anymore. It's still not eight o'clock after we finish eating. Treat me to an opera."
He said, "What's an opera? I'll definitely accompany you tomorrow. But tonight I have another matter to trouble you with. The second young master said he would wait for me at the German Restaurant at nine o'clock. He might take me somewhere to play the erhu."
He laughed. Reflected in the red light of the stove, I saw a flush on his face. He said, "Of course I want good things for my friend. If there's something you must have my help with, just say it."
He laughed and said, "We two brothers, we say everything. The German Restaurant is a place full of foreigners coming and going. I'm a bit nervous about going in to find someone. You're not afraid of anything. Can you go in with me?"
After passing through three doors, we went by the cloakroom. Since we had neither overcoats nor fur hats, we didn't need to walk that way. I inadvertently looked down and saw a glint of light on the floor. Looking closely, it was a silver gleam on the carpet. Not far away, I bent down and picked it up. My heart started racing-it was a white gold diamond ring. The diamond was larger than a pea, definitely worth no less than a thousand yuan. Subconsciously, I stuffed it into my pocket, but my hand didn't want to come out. Afraid that Mr. Li might see, I quickly walked a couple of steps forward.
This was the dining hall. In the corner, several musicians were playing piano and violin. Dozens of tables filled the hall, all occupied. Arriving at this gathering of Chinese and foreigners, I had to mind my manners. I couldn't just barge into the crowd to find someone. So I paused for a moment. Unexpectedly, Secretary Li was even more timid than I; he had retreated back to the second door. Seeing he wasn't nearby, I took out the diamond ring again to look at it. It sparkled brilliantly-it must be genuine. But then a thought struck me: was I, in my twenties, going to let this item taint my integrity? I decided to announce it. Seeing a waiter passing by, I called out, "Hey! I found something. Among your customers, is anyone looking for lost property?"
I hesitated for a moment, feeling that although the spot where I stood was separated from the dining room by a large glass door, it was still a passageway. So I had to walk out again. I muttered to myself, "I'll place a newspaper ad to find the owner. The advertising fee-I'm not afraid the owner won't acknowledge it."
The man in the Western suit said, "Ah! Secretary Li, you've come. Second Young Master has been looking for you."
Only then did Mr. Li break into a smile and introduced me, saying this was Master Hu, the attendant of Second Young Master of the Lai mansion. Only then did I realize he was a servant, yet much more well-off than we were.
So he led the way, and we followed. In a small room at the left corner of the dining hall, we saw Lai Dayuan's second son, second daughter, and another couple eating a Western meal. At the door of the room stood a four-fold green silk screen, so you couldn't see inside from outside.
Second Young Master Lai sat at the head of the large dining table, facing the screen. As soon as I entered, I was close to him. He was wearing a purple wool Western suit, his hair oiled like black satin. Only his face, shaped like a pointed-top, wide-bottom steamed bun, was a bit incongruous. With a fork in his left hand and a knife in his right, he was cutting the steak on his plate. He turned his face and pointed the knife tip at me, asking the attendant, "Is he the one who found it?"
A young man in a green suit sat on the left, with a fair, long face that looked like a certain amateur opera performer. He sat next to Second Miss. He nodded and said, "That's right, Second Master, we should say it first." Second Young Master Lai forked a piece of steak, stuffed it into his mouth to chew, then pointed his fork at me and said, "I lost a white gold diamond ring. Inside the ring, the three English letters 'KLK' are engraved. Am I right?"
I picked up the box, opened the lid. Inside was a blue velvet lining with an indentation. I placed the ring in it, and it fit perfectly. So I said, "Correct. Mr. Lai, this ring is yours. Take it. You're a respectable man; I trust you. No need for another witness." I handed the box back to him and turned to leave. Second Young Master Lai stood up, pointing his knife at me, and said, "Tell me, how much reward do you want? To tell you the truth, this ring is only worth three thousand yuan-nothing special. But I was going to give it to Miss Gao." As he spoke, he nodded and smiled at a young woman in red sitting at the table. Then he continued, "Now that it's recovered, my wish is fulfilled. I'm very happy and would like to thank you."
I said, "The item belongs to Mr. Lai. Handing it over to you is the end of it. I don't want any reward."
Second Young Master Lai pointed at Attendant Hu and said, "Hold him. I'll..." As he spoke, he put down his knife and fork, took out his cheque book and fountain pen, bent over the corner of the table, wrote an English cheque, tore it off, and handed it to Attendant Hu. "Give it to him. This is a cheque for one thousand yuan. Dated today, he can cash it as soon as the bank opens tomorrow."
The young woman in red smiled slightly and said, "He doesn't want money. You should understand his intention."
Second Young Master Lai nodded and said, "Yes, yes." He pointed a finger at me and said, "What's your surname? What do you do? Have you been to school?"
Second Miss, probably having drunk a bit too much, her face flushed, leaned sideways against that young man who looked like an amateur opera performer. She cast a sidelong glance and said, "Second Brother, your carelessness is just like Father's. Didn't Little Hu just say that his surname is Zhang and he works as a minor clerk in the ministry?"
Second Young Master Lai gave an "ah." Seeing that Attendant Hu still held the one-thousand-yuan cheque, he said, "Well then, you cash that thousand yuan. The clothes that Wang Hongji Tailor made for Miss Gao are very good. Seven hundred yuan for materials and labor. The other three hundred yuan is a tip for the tailor's assistant as drinking money."
Second Miss laughed and said, "Second Brother, look at you. What's the matter that you're so absent-minded? Didn't you ask him to come and go together to Miss Gao's place to practice singing?"
Second Young Master Lai laughed and said, "Did I say that? Now we're going to the Beijing Hotel to dance. We won't talk about this. But I don't have a definite plan. Little Hu, take ten yuan from you and take them to eat at a small restaurant."
Not far from the main gate, Mr. Li caught up, calling out all the way, "Old Zhang! Old Zhang!" I stopped and asked. He said, "What's the matter with you? Why didn't you say goodbye to Second Young Master before leaving?"
I laughed and said, "I returned a three-thousand-yuan item to him, yet he never said 'please sit down.' He either pointed his knife at me or his fork. I'm not a servant in his household; how can I stand such insult?"
Seeing him report so solemnly, I had to believe it. I went to the outer room to answer the phone. As soon as I picked up the receiver and put it to my ear, I only said "Hello," and a woman's voice speaking with a southern Mandarin accent immediately asked me a series of questions about my name and occupation. Then she said, "I am Mrs. Lai. Last night, our second son and second daughter came back and said you found a diamond ring and returned it to the owner. You are a good person. Second Young Master said he wants to promote you and give you a better post. I have already spoken to the Minister, and you are also assigned to work in the secretariat, with a salary equivalent to a recommended secretarial appointment. From now on, work well, understood?"
I never expected the Minister's wife to send down this good news from the heavens. I was both happy and, having long heard of the fearsome reputation of 'Lai the Tiger,' I felt a mix of joy and fear. I couldn't think of any reply. After a few months as an official, I had learned the etiquette of a minor official towards a high one. I half-bowed and said into the telephone, "Yes... yes... yes..."
As I hung up the phone, I realized that a circle of people had gathered around me. I usually prided myself on having some backbone. But now, after receiving the lady's phone call, I was at such a loss that I felt ashamed, and my face flushed. Yet these people didn't think my behavior was wrong at all; they all looked at me with smiles.
I laughed and said, "Actually, I don't know her. The lady said she has transferred me to the secretariat and wanted to inform me first."
Section Chief Tao immediately cupped his hands at me several times and said, "Congratulations! Congratulations!"
As soon as Section Chief Tao said congratulations, the whole section gathered around me to offer their congratulations. Section Member Fan grasped my hand and said, "Brother Zhang, I said earlier that after the New Year, your complexion was too good. This year you would definitely have good fortune. What do you think of my words?"
I laughed and said, "Everyone, don't be so happy for me yet. Although Mrs. Lai made that phone call, we still have to wait until the Minister issues the official note."
Section Chief Tao also said, "What is there to wait for? One word from Mrs. Lai is worth ten notes from Minister Lai." Then the whole section laughed.
Within an hour, Minister Lai also arrived. Section Chief Tao went up to report on official business. When he returned to the section, he was already cupping his hands at me from afar, saying, "Congratulations! The note has come down. Our section must be in luck. Not only has Mr. Zhang been appointed to the secretariat, but Mr. Li here has also been appointed at the same time. In one day, we have two exceptional appointments. It's worth celebrating. My treat, my treat. Especially Mr. Zhang's position, promoted by the lady, is no ordinary thing. Needless to say, within a month or two, you'll be promoted to full secretary."
After eight o'clock, the streets were full of lights. I took a rickshaw home. But as soon as I entered the compound, I had a new thought: as a secretary-level official in the Ministry of Agriculture and Commerce, dealing with the Minister and Vice-Minister daily, if I came home and lived with the rice-cake seller, Tailor Wang, and Shoemaker Li, that would be unacceptable. If my colleagues found out, wouldn't they mock me? I had to find a new house and move quickly.
I said loudly, "Do you know I've become a secretary? I tell you, there's no general store that never opens for business. I can't be unlucky forever. Many people try to get in through Mrs. Lai's connections, spending money and suffering humiliation, but they never succeed. Look at me-it's like a fat pig pushing at the temple gate, she came on her own. Hey! What a sin-how can I compare Mrs. Lai to a fat pig?" I was beside myself with pride. Seeing that the lamp in my room was lit, I forgot whether I had locked the door and kicked it open, laughing. "The secretary is back! At Mrs. Lai's side..."
Before I finished speaking, I saw my deceased grandfather holding a horsewhip, my father holding a birch, and Mr. Xiao, who had taught me to master classical Chinese, holding a ferule. They all stood together in the room.
My grandfather roared, "Our family has been pure and honest for generations, known as the virtuous clan. Today you have become a nepotism official, disgracing your ancestors and betraying your teacher. Not ashamed to death, you are still proud. Tell me, how many lashes do you deserve?"
My father shouted, "Beat him to death!" Then Mr. Xiao raised his hand and brought the ferrule down on my head. I broke into a cold sweat all over and collapsed unconscious. ... Haha! Of course, this never happened. Dear reader, don't worry about me!