第三章 (Chapter Three)

The sun had not yet risen. A layer of gray, cold light floated in the sky. On the dirt road, the ruts bore traces of frost. White, frosty tassels hung from the camel's back and neck, and white puffs of breath came from its nostrils. Beiping seemed transformed. Even the most familiar roads looked strange. Vast, quiet, cold, and docile, it was just like the camel that made no sound with its footsteps. Old Li yawned. Many tears streamed down. The cold air pierced straight into his chest, giving him a peculiar sense of relief.

The farther he walked, the brighter it became. The bluish electric lights gradually dwindled to mere threads of gold. The gray light in the sky took on a feeble tinge of red. The sun seemed rather reluctant to emerge fully. When it finally did appear, its light was still weak. Even the shadows on the ground were indistinct. From afar came the jingle of a streetcar bell.

Gradually, more people appeared on the street. It was as if people could stir the sun into radiating some warmth. The shadows on the ground became much clearer. The light on the corners of walls was particularly bright.

Women trading for matches walked hunched over, carrying large baskets on their backs. Even though the baskets were empty, they still leaned forward as they walked. Poor children, carrying the poles from funeral banners and umbrellas, shuffled along in their tattered shoes, cursing and shouting at each other as they hurried. "And these are children!" Old Li said to himself. He looked at the smallest one, no more than eight years old at most. Not a single patch on his ragged clothes was as big as two inches. His calves and toes were all exposed. Dirty, ragged, and exceptionally loud in his cursing. "And these are children!" Old Li pitied that child. At the same time, he didn't know whom to curse-the family, society, all seemed deserving of blame. But what use was cursing? He thought of something more immediate-his heart was extremely uneasy, as if he needed to apologize to someone-he should first take care of his own children.

He arrived at Zhonghai. A thin sheet of ice had already formed on the lake, a layer of shimmering light over the grayish-green water. Beneath the bridge, some withered lotus stalks and short reeds were frozen in the ice. A half-tattered lotus leaf resembled a rusted piece of tinplate.

A brightly decorated bridal sedan chair came heading straight towards him, moving very fast. One look told him it was on its way to the countryside for a wedding, hence the early departure. Old Li stared blankly at the festive sedan chair. It seemed mysterious, strange, and laughable. Yet, this was reality. Otherwise, people wouldn't still hold such respect for this contraption that resembled an enlarged birdcage. A certain strength seemed to rise within him. The girl sitting inside the bridal sedan chair was probably immensely proud. She would offer apologies to no one!

He walked all the way to Xisi Pailou. He had absolutely no reason or intention to come here, yet here he was. Having lived in Beiping for so many years, he had never been here at dawn. Pork, mutton, beef. Chickens, alive and dead. Fish, dead and alive. All kinds of vegetables. Pig's blood and onion skins frozen on the ground. Countless eels and loaches jostled chaotically in a puddle of water, their heads topped with icicles. The loaches' eyes stared as if trying to hypnotize someone. Chaos. Stench. Hubbub! Beside the fish stalls, vendors hawked leg bindings. "Leg bindings! Leg bindings! Buy good leg bindings!" The barbers hadn't arrived yet, but the small white cloth canopies were already set up. Someone was sweeping yesterday's clippings of short, stiff, mud-streaked hair. Plucked chickens were placed right next to live ones, the latter still squabbling and crowing inside their cages. A vendor pulled one out. Squawk-ah, squawk- No good price was agreed upon. With a slap, he threw it back into the cage. Half a wing got caught under the lid. Squawk! A large, skinny dog stole a string of pig intestines and ran east, only to be intercepted by a butcher. The intestines fell to the ground. The butcher picked them up and hung them back on the iron hook as before. Cantonese, Beiping natives, Shanghainese, people from all over, old and young, men and women, all jostled and pushed in this one stinking, filthy, chaotic spot. Human life, here, was slaughter, flesh and blood, and filth. The belly was everything. The belly that devoured the whole world! Here, there wasn't a shred of any ideal. This was the belly's paradise. Strange! Especially the women, their hair not yet combed, their faces smeared with last night's grime and powder. Who would have thought they were the same ones who would go to Dong'an Market in the afternoon.

This was Old Li's first time coming here as a sightseer. Astonishment and fascination made him feel he had grasped some reality. This was life. Eating. Eating anything and everything. Man truly lived for bread. The inequality of bread was the fundamental inequality. What poetic sentiment, nonsense! Starving others to protect one's own bread, and waging war to fight for bread, were both necessary. Xisi Pailou was the world in miniature. That crowd of men and women all knew this place. They were truly alive. Alive for their bellies, and for nothing else! Elder Brother Zhang was right. Wars fought for the belly were the most concrete revolution. That was also right. Only Old Li was wrong. He had grown accustomed to living in an apartment house. He always thought such places produced stir-fried pork with scrambled eggs and tofu soup. He thought the feudal system was a romantic historical relic. He thought class war was a path of poetic sentiment. He didn't realize this patch of stinking earth was more important than the whole of Beiping. He had only two paths to take. To dream emptily, or to live concretely. The latter could be further divided. To live by seizing one's own bread, or to live by fighting for the masses' bread. If he could choose one of these two paths, he would never have to apologize to life again.

Under the memorial arch, hot soybean milk, almond tea, date-topped sliced rice cake, millet porridge with sesame paste, and barley congee all steamed with heat, each emitting its own distinctive smell. The beans on the sliced cake, once cut open, looked like a row of fish eyes watching people come to eat.

Old Li stood there and drank a bowl of soybean milk.

Old Li decided to send for his family. He would try living "like this" first. But he couldn't for the life of him decide when to go to the countryside.

Every morning, Elder Brother Zhang would inevitably report some news. "The house is settled. Want to go take a look?"

"Why bother looking? Your eyes are more reliable than mine!" Old Li always managed to make even words of gratitude sound unpleasant.

Fortunately, Elder Brother Zhang understood Old Li's character. Therefore, not only was he not annoyed, he actually felt rather proud of himself!

"Three tables, six chairs, an elm wardrobe lacquered and polished-the lacquer is slightly worn in places-will that do for now?" This was the report the next morning!

Old Li could only nod, indicating it would do!

When Elder Brother Zhang reported that even the teapot and teacups were ready, Old Li felt he absolutely had to go to the countryside!

Elder Brother Zhang came up with a plan for him, suggesting he ask for five days' leave. As Old Li was leaving, he instructed Elder Brother Zhang on no account to mention this matter to their colleagues. Elder Brother Zhang promised he would definitely not let the news slip!

Old Li circled from the Back Gate to Zhengyang Gate, wanting to buy some things unique to Beiping for his parents. Naturally, he couldn't bring himself to ask Elder Brother Zhang for advice on this, so he had to go on an expedition by himself! He walked until he was drenched in sweat, but bought nothing. The main reason was that the shops all looked unfamiliar. He couldn't decisively figure out what to buy, and also seemed afraid the shops might not appreciate his patronage. If he went in, there might be the danger of getting bitten! Finally, he still bought some fruit at Dong'an Market, even though he knew perfectly well bananas and such weren't local products of Beiping. He added six cans of food, their colorful trademark wrappers rather pretty!

The day after Old Li left, almost all the colleagues in the government office knew: Mrs. Li would be arriving soon.

Elder Brother Zhang had indeed not leaked the news.

The central broadcasting station for news was Clerk Zhao. Clerk Zhao always watched operas with complimentary red tickets. Whenever such tickets were issued-he was never less than first or second in line to get several. For athletic meets, the program schedule prepared for staff, he always managed to get a copy. Going to an athletic meet, or any gathering, or the opera, Clerk Zhao always carried a rolled-up paper in his hand, using it as a weapon to tap acquaintances on the head. After tapping someone's head, he would say, "You came too?"

He took an extreme interest in other people's wives. In his view, sending for one's family was a personal exhibition. Although no admission tickets were issued, he was always the first to "go take a peek." Female athletes, female attendants, female opera singers, and the like were all prepared for him to "peek" at, with no other meaning. It was the same with other men's wives. Taking a peek meant looking at the lady's face, neck, hands, feet, and all other places a stranger could see. In his dreams, all women were naked. After Clerk Zhao took a peek, the government office would be enriched with many, many new and interesting topics of conversation.

Clerk Zhao had grown impatient waiting for Old Li to send for his family. On ordinary days, when Clerk Zhao commented on women, Old Li never laughed as heartily as the others. That is to say, he couldn't fully appreciate the remarks. Therefore, Clerk Zhao wholeheartedly looked forward to seeing Old Li's handiwork.

Clerk Zhao's looks and manner were rather like complimentary opera tickets. They had practical use, but not a shred of value. Consequently, there was no necessity for his eyes, ears, mouth, and nose to have fixed positions. In fact, when he spoke, his facial features did indeed shift about randomly. His eyeballs bounced all over his face like two fried beans. When he laughed, his small, pointed chin could touch his forehead. He considered himself quite handsome, a matter others naturally had no right to interfere with. His words could amuse others, which he considered a sort of talent. In front of Old Wang, he made fun of Old Li. In front of Old Li, he made fun of Old Wang. In front of both Old Wang and Old Li, he made fun of Old Sun. When there was really no other way, he would resort to imagination and make fun of a certain Mr. Mo Xuyou.

"Old Li has gone to fetch his 'little woman'!" Clerk Zhao's eyes squeezed together as if he had scalded his throat with hot soup.

"Really?" Everyone's ears perked up.

"Really! Asked for five days' leave. Five days-!"

"Five days? Ordinarily, he's never even been late or left early!"

"Exactly! Just wait and take a peek!" Clerk Zhao's heart itched. The roots of his hair prickled uncomfortably, all standing on end.

"Little Zhao, if you don't go with us this time, watch your hide. I'll have it peeled right off you!" said Mr. Qiu.

"Zhao, spare poor Old Li, will you? Why bother? He's such a decent fellow!" said Mr. Wu, keeping his composure.

Mr. Wu stood ramrod straight. His fist, the size of a rice bowl, gripped a sheep-hair brush, writing characters in the "stewed pork shoulder" style. His face was flushed red, his heart filled with righteous integrity. Yes, Mr. Wu prided himself on his uprightness. Extremely upright, to the point of considering even his own unrighteous behavior as righteous. Little Zhao was his relative. His position had been secured through Little Zhao's maneuvering. Yet, he didn't give Little Zhao a second glance because he himself was upright. Once, because he wanted to take a concubine, Little Zhao spread the news far and wide until it reached Mrs. Wu's ears. She almost bit off one of Mr. Wu's ears. So, he looked down on Little Zhao even more. Little Zhao was indeed somewhat afraid of Mr. Wu-those fists of his!

Clerk Zhao fell silent. In his heart, he plotted how to wait for Old Li's return, how to secretly follow him, see where he lived, and then how to arrange a meeting with colleagues-excluding Old Wu, and first giving him a glare-to go take a peek, or rather, one should say, go make a social call!

Mr. Qiu was a good man, though a bit frustrated in life, so he was particularly enthusiastic about this matter. He came over and whispered to Little Zhao. "Let's all chip in and buy two catties of tea. Go take a peek at her, and also get a meal out of Old Li. You're the commander!"