Explore Chapter 14 of '老张的哲学' with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
On the day after the Mid-Autumn Festival, Lao Zhang slept until noon before stirring. The day before, he had been receiving festival gifts, settling shop accounts, and dunning his debtors. It was not until the fourth watch of the night that he finally tightened his belt and collapsed, fully clothed, into sleep. The moon, bright as a silver dollar, cast its light upon celestial towers of gold and jade, copper grottoes and silver mountains, fashioning in Lao Zhang's dreams a separate world of immortals. Common folk might "raise their cups to the moon" and "sing heartily over their wine," but compared to Lao Zhang's dreamscape, their pleasures were merely material, while his were spiritual-a veritable gulf between heaven and earth!
"What a question! What time do you think it is? Of course he's up. Mr. Zhang, you've been busy. Come in and sit!"
"When would I find the time for drink? Settling accounts and chasing debts keeps a man running head over heels! What can we do? We are, after all, the lords of creation, ruled by money!"
The wine and food were laid out. Lao Zhang put on a show of great affection, intending to eat as a camel stores water in the desert-enough to last a week. Sun Ba was the sort of host who delighted the more his guests ate. Should a guest unfortunately eat until his belly split like an autumn melon and he dropped dead, Sun Ba would be overjoyed to go and buy him a coffin.
"Eighth Master! Our meeting is the day after tomorrow, isn't it?" Lao Zhang spoke between mouthfuls, busy scooping up spattered bits of meat from the table back into his mouth.
"Isn't that entirely up to everyone's vote?" Having been steeped in the world of self-government for the past two or three months, Sun Ba had picked up the knack of using the latest lingo quite aptly.
"Who says so? The Self-government Association was founded by us, the members were invited by us. Whoever we say shall be chairman, shall be chairman!" As he spoke, Lao Zhang picked up another slice of fatty meat and popped it into his mouth.
"Wait a moment, Eighth Master. Is there any wine left? I still owe myself a cup. After I drink it, would you ask your wife to prepare three bowls of hot, sour, spicy soup-rice for us? Let's finish it in one go, then discuss association affairs. How about that?"
Lao Zhang finished the three bowls of soup-rice, supplemented them with three steamed buns and several Mid-Autumn mooncakes, and only then patted his belly and uttered the unavoidable: "I'm full!" He then attempted to heave his belly up. As the belly rose, his body followed suit and stood up, and he began to pace slowly about the room. His tongue could barely keep his esophagus in check, and the contents of his stomach surged upward in waves.
"Eighth Master! Do you have any Rendan digestive pills? Give me a few! It's a new habit I've acquired-I must always take some Rendan after a meal!" Lao Zhang smiled with his lips tightly shut to prevent a flood from his esophagus.
Sun Ba gave Lao Zhang a few Rendan pills. Lao Zhang swallowed them and attempted to sit back down on the chair.
Little Four shot a glance at Lao Zhang and secretly whispered into his father's ear, "Teacher doesn't drink tea. He's afraid it will hurt his stomach." Sun Ba smiled. Little Four looked back at Lao Zhang, afraid he had noticed the secret, and quickly said to him, "Teacher, I didn't tell my father you don't drink tea!"
"Eighth Master, listen to my reasoning. Who are the important figures in the association now? Naturally, Nan Feisheng, Long Shugu, you, and me. Our reputations and abilities are all about the same. If the few of us start competing, we'll surely tear the association apart. That wouldn't matter so much, but what if the government suddenly implements self-government? We'd have no association to rely on. Wouldn't that be like drilling a bride's ears for earrings only as the bridal sedan arrives-hopelessly late? So now, first, we must avoid competition among ourselves. Second, we must ensure the chairmanship falls into our hands without a fight. That is why I advocate electing your uncle, our venerable elder."
"My dear Eighth Master! Isn't it obvious? Look, you are a local gentleman, and your uncle is an old-school gentleman. In terms of status, property, and prestige, by any measure the chairmanship should go to the Sun family. If someone else snatches it away, it would not only be a disgrace to your family, but a loss of face for our entire Deshengxun district. However, your status as a gentleman ultimately cannot quite overshadow our elder's status as an old-school gentleman. If you campaigned for chairman, Nan Feisheng and his lot could oppose you. But if we promote our elder, I guarantee they'll have nothing to say. The elder naturally has no wish to handle affairs. Well, perfect! Let the elder hold the title, while you and I manage everything behind the scenes. Understand, I'm not deliberately trying to make a fool of our elder. To put it plainly, we cannot let outsiders take the chairmanship!"
"Yes! Exactly! The more you say, the more sense it makes!" Sun Ba stood up and called out the window, "Little Three's mother! Use the better tea leaves to brew the tea!"
"You, I, and Li Shandong naturally have no objection to electing the elder," Lao Zhang continued. "As for Long Shugu, I'll speak to him. He won't dare disobey us. That leaves Nan Feisheng to wave his solitary, helpless fist. As for the officers, let's give the head of the Investigation Section to Old Long, the Secretary position to Nan Feisheng, and the Treasurer to me. After all, how would it look for your uncle to be chairman and you, his nephew, to be treasurer? You take on Social Liaison. I control the money, and you do the socializing. In the end, whoever builds the wider connections will reap the greater benefits."
"Naturally! Losing a bit in travel expenses is nothing!" Lao Zhang patted his belly: first to jostle his stomach and intestines, second to demonstrate his generosity and zeal.
Sun Ba blocked Lao Zhang with one hand while pulling two silver dollars from his pocket with the other. Lao Zhang did not accept the money, merely listening as Sun Ba tucked the coins into his own jacket pocket. With a distinct clink, the two dollars sank deep into the recesses of his pocket. He kept muttering, "This really shouldn't be done!" before sitting down again, cradling his belly.
The two men talked further about the Self-government Association. Sun Ba planned that if his uncle became chairman, he would buy a house in the city to facilitate broader social connections. Lao Zhang, upon the success of self-government, would hand the school over to others to run, live off his interest income, and single-mindedly pursue a career in officialdom. Unconsciously, their expressions grew animated, and they showered each other with praise.
"To tell the truth, Eighth Master, no line of business compares to being an official. Trade only earns you a bit of stinking money-money that is meager and earned through labor, hence 'stinking,' as Lao Zhang himself explains in Chapter 23 of his so-called *Economic Principles*. But being an official brings both fame and profit! For instance, if a merchant has money and takes a concubine, people might look down on him. But once a man becomes an official, if he *doesn't* take a concubine, no one will respect him. Both may have money, but their status is worlds apart!"
"Speaking of which, Eighth Master! Do you intend to take a concubine or not?" Lao Zhang's main objective, having navigated all the bends in the river, finally reached the open sea.
"Eighth Master! Eighth Master! You must consider your position! Right now you are a gentleman. Once self-government succeeds, you'll be a personage. How many personages do not take concubines? Let me ask you! If a military officer rises to battalion commander and doesn't take a concubine, can his superiors associate with him? If a civil official becomes a magistrate and doesn't take a concubine, will anyone promote him? Eighth Master! You are aiming for the political arena. If you don't move with the crowd, is that feasible?" Lao Zhang was impassioned and vehement, coming perilously close to biting his middle finger to write a pledge in blood.
"Taking a concubine is no slight against Eighth Sister-in-law!" Lao Zhang moved his chair closer to Sun Ba, his pig-like eyes narrowing to slits, and said in a low, urgent voice. "You wish to enter official circles. Suppose important personages from that world were to visit your home. Given Eighth Sister-in-law's looks and attire, could she be presented? If you were to display her, people would laugh their front teeth out! That is the fact of the matter. I bear Eighth Sister-in-law not the slightest ill will, make no mistake! Besides, this is a time when women are cheap. You can pick and choose as you please-conservative or modern, natural-footed or bound-footed-and the price is not high. We are over forty. If we don't enjoy this little bit of pleasure now, shall we wait until we're seventy or eighty and toothless? Moreover, taking a concubine is the foremost step into politics. Why not kill two birds with one stone? As for wealth, you are the God of Wealth, and I am but a local earth god. Even I wish to sample the flavor of a concubine, let alone a great gentleman and future personage like you! Eighth Master! Think it over carefully. If anything I've said grates on your ears, you have my full permission to swing your fist straight into Lao Zhang's mouth!"
"It is naturally reasonable! Why don't I advise you to frequent brothels? Visiting prostitutes is also something men do. But there is danger involved! Buying a girl for yourself is more agreeable, more clean, and more respectable. It brings only advantage, no harm. Eighth Master, consider it! If you are interested, I, Lao Zhang, seek not a single penny, and I guarantee to find you a perfectly pleasing woman!"
Little Three and Little Four were playing beneath a tree outside the gate. Seeing Lao Zhang emerge, Little Four asked:
"Not a tyrant, like Mrs. Zhang? That would be just fine!" Little Four was never afraid of Lao Zhang.
"..."