Explore Chapter 13 of '老张的哲学' with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
The day after the Mid-Autumn Festival, Lao Zhang slept until high noon before stirring. The day before, he had been busy receiving festival gifts, settling shop accounts, and dunning his debtors; it was not until the fourth watch that he finally tightened his belt and collapsed onto his bed, fully clothed. The silver-dollar moon cast its light upon celestial towers of gold and jade, grottoes of copper and mountains of silver-within Lao Zhang’s dreams, a separate world of immortals took shape. While the common folk "raised their cups to the moon" and "sang lustily over their wine," … compared to Lao Zhang’s dreamscape, they indulged in material pleasures, while he reveled in spiritual ones-a distinction as vast as that between Heaven and Earth!
"What a thing to ask! What time do you think it is? Of course he's up. Master Zhang, you've had a busy time. Come in and sit!"
Once the wine and food were laid out, Lao Zhang assumed an air of great cordiality and, like a camel storing water for a desert crossing, planned to eat enough to last a week. Sun Ba was the sort who grew more pleased the more his guests ate. Should some unfortunate guest eat until his belly split like a cracked autumn melon and he dropped dead, Sun Ba would be overjoyed to buy the coffin.
"Isn't that entirely up to a vote by everyone?" Sun Ba had, over the past two or three months of immersion in self-government circles, learned to pepper his speech with fashionable phrases, often quite aptly.
"Hold on, Master Ba. Is there any wine left? I still owe myself a cup. After that, would you ask your wife to prepare three big bowls of that hot, sour, spicy noodle soup for us? Let's finish them in one go, and then we can talk association business. How about it?"
Lao Zhang polished off the three bowls of soup, then topped them up with three steamed buns and several Mid-Autumn mooncakes. Only then did he stroke his belly and utter the inevitable declaration, "I'm full!" He then attempted to heave his belly upwards; as it rose, his body followed suit, and he began a slow shuffle around the room. His tongue was hard-pressed to keep things down, and waves from his stomach threatened to surge up his gullet.
"Master Ba! Do you have any ren-dan? Give me a few pills! It's a new habit of mine-must take some digestive aids after a meal!" Lao Zhang chuckled with his mouth tightly shut, to prevent a flood from his esophagus.
Sun Ba gave Lao Zhang a few ren-dan pills. Lao Zhang swallowed them and cautiously tried lowering himself back into the chair.
Little Fourth shot a glance at Lao Zhang and whispered into his father's ear, "Teacher doesn't drink tea. He's afraid it'll upset his stomach." Sun Ba smiled. Little Fourth looked back at Lao Zhang, afraid his secret was out, and quickly blurted, "Teacher, I didn't tell Father you don't drink tea!"
"My uncle truly has no heart for such affairs. Besides, the members of the association aren't fond of old men."
"Master Ba, listen to my reasoning. Who are the key figures in the association now? Naturally, Nan Feisheng, Long Shugu, and you and I. Our reputations and abilities are all roughly on par. If we few start vying for the position, we'll tear the association apart. The breakup itself isn't the main concern. What matters is, if the government promptly implements self-government and we have no association to rely on, wouldn't we be like a bride piercing her ears on the way to her wedding-too late? So, our aims now are twofold: first, to avoid competition among us few; second, to ensure the chairmanship still falls into our hands without a fight. That is precisely why I advocate electing your uncle, our esteemed elder."
"My dear Master Ba! Isn't it plain as day? Look, you are a local gentleman, and your uncle is an elder gentleman. Considering status, property, and reputation, from every angle the chairmanship ought to land with the Sun family. If someone else snatches it away, it would not only be a disgrace to your Sun clan but also a loss of face for all of us in the Deshengxun district. However, your standing as a gentleman cannot quite surpass our elder's standing as an elder gentleman. If you campaigned for chairman, Nan Feisheng and his lot could oppose you. But if we put forward our elder, I guarantee they won't dare utter a word of objection. The elder naturally won't want to handle day-to-day affairs. Well, that's perfect. Let the elder bear the title, while you and I manage everything behind the scenes. You understand, I'm not playing tricks on our elder. To put it bluntly, we cannot let outsiders take the chairmanship!"
"You, I, and Li Shandong would naturally have no objection to electing the elder," Lao Zhang continued. "As for Long Shugu, I'll have a word with him. He won't dare disobey us. That leaves Nan Feisheng alone and powerless, left to glare dry-eyed with no one to back him. As for the other positions, let Old Long head the Investigation Section, give Documentation to Nan Feisheng. Accounting is mine-for how could it be seemly for the chairman's own nephew to handle the accounts? You take charge of Social Connections. I'll manage the money, you handle the socializing. In the end, whoever cultivates the wider network will reap the greater advantage."
"Master Ba! You are too honest! Honest folk are truly ill-suited for civilized business! Weren't the members invited by you and me just to swell our numbers? If you spend money on treats for them, how can they fail to obey your commands?"
Sun Ba blocked Lao Zhang with one hand while with the other he fished two dollars from his pocket. Lao Zhang did not reach for the money, merely listening as Sun Ba tucked the coins into his own garment. A satisfying clink confirmed the two dollars now rested securely in the depths of his pocket. He kept protesting, "This really won't do!" before sitting down again, cradling his belly.
The two men discussed further matters concerning the Self-government Association. Sun Ba planned that if his uncle became chairman, he would buy a house in the city to facilitate wider social connections. Lao Zhang envisioned that once self-government succeeded, he would hand the school over to others, live off the interest from his money, and set his sights wholeheartedly on a political career. Unconsciously, their expressions grew animated, eyebrows dancing with glee as they showered each other with praise.
"To tell the truth, Master Ba, no line of business compares to being an official. Business only earns you what he termed 'stinking money'-that is to say, money, and little enough of it, earned by the sweat of one's brow, as expounded in Chapter Twenty-Three of Lao Zhang's Economic Principles. But as an official, you gain both fame and fortune! For instance, if a merchant with money takes a concubine, some might look down on him. But if a man becomes an official and doesn't take a concubine, no one will respect him. Both may have money, but their status is worlds apart!"
"Master Ba! Master Ba! You must consider your standing! Right now you're a gentleman. Once self-government succeeds, you'll be a personage. How many personages don't take concubines? Let me ask you! If a military officer rises to battalion commander and doesn't take a concubine, can his superiors associate with him? If a civil official becomes a district magistrate and doesn't take a concubine, will anyone think to promote him? Master Ba! You're aiming for political circles. If you don't go with the crowd, will it work?" Lao Zhang's speech grew impassioned and indignant; he came close to biting through his middle finger to draft a pledge in blood.
"Your eighth sister-in-law bore and raised children for me. To take another would be to wrong her, wouldn't it?"
"Taking a concubine is no slight against Eighth Sister-in-law!" Lao Zhang pulled his chair closer to Sun Ba, his piggy eyes narrowing to slits, and continued in a low, urgent whisper. "If you enter official circles, imagine some bigwig pays a visit to your home. With Eighth Sister-in-law's looks and the way she carries herself, could you really present her to your guests? If you actually paraded her out, people would laugh their front teeth clean out! That's just the fact of the matter. I bear not a shred of ill will toward Eighth Sister-in-law, mark my words! Besides, it's a buyer's market for women these days. You can take your pick-conservative or modern, natural-footed or bound-footed-none will cost you very much. We're over forty. If we don't seize this little pleasure now, when shall we? When we're seventy or eighty and our teeth are falling out? What's more, taking a concubine is the foremost step for anyone advancing in political circles. Why not kill two birds with one stone! As for property, think of it this way: in terms of wealth, you're rolling in it, while I just scrape by. Even I wouldn't mind sampling the delights of a concubine, let alone you, a gentleman of such stature, a future personage! Master Ba! Think it over carefully. If anything I've said is offensive, you have my full permission to swing your fist right at Lao Zhang's mouth!"
"It is reasonable by its very nature! Why else wouldn't I advise you to visit brothels? Visiting brothels is, in fact, something people do. But there's risk involved! Buying a girl for yourself is more agreeable, cleaner, and commands more respect. It brings only benefits, no harms. Master Ba, think on it! If you're inclined, I, Lao Zhang, seek not a penny for myself. I guarantee to find you someone entirely to your liking!"
Little Third and Little Fourth were playing under a tree outside. Seeing Lao Zhang emerge, Little Fourth asked:
"Fine teacher you are! Eat our food but won't give us a holiday! Just wait till I tell Mother. She'll never cook for you again!"
"Not a tyrant, like Mrs. Zhang? Now that would be something!" Little Fourth was never afraid of Lao Zhang.