Explore Chapter 3 of '老张的哲学' with the original Chinese text, English translation, detailed Chinese vocabulary explanations, and audio of the Chinese original. Listen and improve your reading skills.
Outside, the rhythmic slap-slap of dusting shoes. Sun Ba bustled out to greet them. Lao Zhang bellowed, "At-ten-tion!" Fifty-odd students, tall and short, scrambled into two ragged lines. Xiao San pulled his left foot back too hard, grinding his heel right onto Xiao Si's toes. "Ow! Teacher! Xiao San's standing at attention-on my foot!"
"Left-turn! Form ranks for wel-come!" At the command, the students all slapped their right hands to their temples. Xiao Si, in agony and choking back tears, merely shielded his eyes and peered out through the wetness. The man leading the way he recognized as Li Wu from the yamen; trailing behind, of course, was the Education Inspector.
"Mr. Li, wait for me a moment. I'll just take a cursory glance and be off. An expert can size up a school's quality by standing outside its gates for five minutes-that's the mark of a true insider." The Education Inspector shrugged his shoulders, sucked in his belly, and gave two resonant coughs. Then, puffing his cheeks, he swept his gaze around without turning his head, his eyes swiveling in their sockets. With his tongue, he rolled a gob of phlegm into a slick pellet and spat it under the apricot tree as if shot from a tiny squirt-gun. He produced a small handkerchief to dab his mouth, then casually mopped the sweat from the hollow of his nose. Muttering to himself, he said, "Hmph! No spittoon prepared!"
"Enough of this 'Excellency' nonsense! 'Mister' will do! New methods, new forms of address-it's not like seven or eight years ago. Take the students into the 'room'!"
From the lectern, Lao Zhang looked down. The students resembled fifty-odd little stone stakes. To put it more wryly, they were like fifty-odd little stone Buddhas, with bulging eyes, pouted lips, stiff necks, and ramrod-straight legs. It was only thanks to Lao Zhang's years of teaching and the Inspector's vast experience that anyone could endure such a tableau. Not a hair stirred among those fifty-odd children; had one unfortunate hair dared to move, you could have heard the rustle.
The Education Inspector appeared to be about forty-five or forty-six. His face was sallow, dominated by two glassy eyes that showed more white than black. A prominent, hawkish nose rose in the center, from which dangled wispy, dry-yellow strands that partly concealed his mouth. He wore an old gray gown of official gauze, paired with Western-style trousers of Henan silk, the cuffs tied at the ankles. On his feet were short, half-new foreign leather shoes, revealing socks of local blue market-cloth. The overall effect was jarring at first glance, yet grew more familiar with looking, striking a bizarrely "harmonious" note between old and new, a veritable "adherence to the Golden Mean." One might even call it a portentous fusion of Eastern and Western cultures.
"Wang De! Straighten your back! That's 'physical education,' understand?"
The Education Inspector stuck a pencil in his mouth. As Lao Zhang lectured, he noted everything down in a small notebook. After finishing a note, he would poke his tongue out, ready to give the pencil a lick before proceeding. His method was two touches of pencil to tongue for every character he wrote. Wang De stole a glance, thinking the gentleman suffered from a mouth ulcer; while Xiao San-the Inspector was standing to his right-was convinced the gentleman's pencil was coated with crystallized persimmon sugar.
The students all stood and again slapped hands to brows. Most seized the chance to swipe at the sweat on their temples. The Education Inspector paid no mind whatsoever, swaggering out of the lecture hall with great aplomb.
The gentleman arrived at the east room. Li Wu and Sun Ba rose to their feet. Sun Ba proffered a bowl of tea, saying, "Hard work! A lot of trouble! Such a sweltering day, coming all this way!"
The gentleman noted it down. He put the pencil in his mouth, as if recalling something. Slowly, he said, "Better to use Commercial Press. The schools in town have all switched."
"If I may speak out of turn, logically, the name 'Zhonghua' has a finer ring than 'Commercial.' Just the other day in town, I heard a public lecture on 'the great, powerful Zhonghua nation.' How come it's gone out of fashion now?" Sun Ba expounded glibly.
"How could you presume to know more than the gentleman? There must be a reason for it," said Lao Zhang, looking from Sun Ba to the gentleman.
"Official affairs shift with the times," Li Wu chimed in, seizing the chance to display his insider's savvy. "What's unfashionable today might be back in vogue in a couple of years. Those in service must move with the tide. Isn't that so, sir?"
"Yes! Precisely! Mr. Zhang! Not to boast in your presence, but besides me, is there a single school inspector under heaven who offers advice to teachers? The inspector's job is to专门 seek out flaws, loopholes..."
"Why have you placed your lectern on the western side? That's the 'White Tiger Platform'-that fearsome feng shui formation said to bring misfortune upon the students' parents. Education is a charitable endeavor-how can you conduct it thus!" The gentleman spoke, hammering each word home.
"The previous inspector said something about the classroom drawing light from the left, so I placed the lectern on the west. Truth be told, I do have some understanding of feng shui and the balance of forces. One dare not disobey a superior's orders. I must beg your forgiveness, sir!"
"Never mind the previous inspector. Had he known his business, he wouldn't have been dismissed. But I certainly won't report this. Had I wished to make trouble for you, I wouldn't say it to your face, now would I?" The gentleman chuckled, and Li Wu and Sun Ba followed suit.
"Old Five! Take good care of the gentleman. I'd even stand you to tea, let alone the gentleman..." Lao Zhang began, then swallowed his words.
"A kind word from you, sir, would be most appreciated! Old Five, lead the gentleman through Wangjia Village, past Dongdatun, by Commander Wu's gate. That path is lined with willows, offering some shade. The sun is absolutely vicious," said Lao Zhang.